I'm happy to be alive. And not just because that's what I should say to show gratitude for life.
To be honest, life is exhausting, it can be exhausting.
It's mostly exhausting.
And more than once in my life I have wondered what's the point of this.
But I'm glad to be alive for another reason. The years I live in accumulation keep opening up my mind to my creator's personality.
I'm beginning to understand who God is.
Who he is in relation to me.
Who he is as a God, as a father, and as a friend.
What it means to draw close to God.
I have, for the longest time been kinda afraid of getting close to God.
With him being so high up there, and me being down here and insignificant.
With him being a man, and me down here having an almost derision towards the male species.
Being self-reliant and independent. I've struggled with being able to pray and trust that God is listening to my childish wants and desires and worries.
I sometimes feel like I am burdening him with all the baggage I drag along.
Sometimes I feel I am not giving him proper respect by confessing some things that are really private and embarrassing.
But the more I have opened up myself to God, the easier it has become to see how cool he is. My friend says she and Jehovah are Boyz- Jehovah ni boyz wangu she says-
For me, I decided to approach Jehovah from a humorous point of view.
I know that God is a very funny person. Just look at the sloth, the humphead wrasse, the armadillo. I mean, someone that creates such hilarious living things
must have a huuge sense of humour.
So I talk to my creator as I would talk to an older brother. With respect, but comfortably.
and he answers me. I tell him all the funny things that I think about. I also tell him about
situations that arise in my life that make me a stay up watching K-Drama so that
my mind can settle down. I realise I am
different in many ways from most people I encounter in my society. I don't say this from
a high-minded pedestal.
I mean like, I interpret things in my own way, I deal with people from the point of
- this is me-
What you see is what you get. I am not interested in putting up a skit for you,
And me, for the rest of the days that I am gonna live. I've decided the best I can do is look at life
humorously. Otherwise, I might just crawl under my bed and never come out.
Life is herr.
It's a herrish life.
I don't mean hellish, we are used to hell, we are on another octane.
But through all the wanderings, I now know 100% that God listens.
And he answers me. Sometimes in Eminem.
Now hush little baby, don't you cry
Everything's gonna be alright
