Conversations into Adulthood: Dating after 35

When I was past 35, I thought to myself, nothing can move this heart anymore.

And I was fine, happily running the rat race, making connections, finally able to afford some comforts, living in a leafy green neighbourhood with friendly neighbours and shopkeepers, with fat stray dogs and hardly any stray cats.

Then one day I got a dm asking me on a date to discuss a life ever after.

It was exciting, to think that I could actually go out on a date with someone, The last date I had been on was when I was 25, which wasn't even really a date, more like a fishing trip gone bad.

I even went out and bought a little black outfit to wear on the supposed date.

And my heart thumped as I rehearsed  answers to questions I expected to be asked.

I even started daydreaming about future dates and and how I would be telling younger women 'you really don't have to search for a husband, when the time is right the good Lord will provide one.' 

But before the supposed date I decided to ask someone, 'hey by the way, without giving me dirt what can you tell me about huyu mtu wa kwenu?

And mtu wa kwao said, 'well, Cecilia if being fed and clothed is what you are looking for then go for it, but you and I know that you have been feeding and clothing yourself long enough.'

I understood that without the need for subtitles.

In the wellbeing pie chart that includes physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and financial triangles, only one of them was shaded.

And soon enough I would be proved right.

Picture a middle aged woman,  in the middle of the night googling 'What is loving bombing? 'what is ghosting?'

Within two weeks, I had been lovebombed and ghosted, left hang to dry with my little black outfit which would never see the light of day.

And as I tried to understand that kind of behavior I got a better understanding of modern human behaviour, and so my peace, I can only accept peace treatment from Che. Not a fully grow up person, hī, ūngīkīgūrūka. You can lose your head.

Good thing is, experience has taught me to turn negative energy to productivity.

And that is how within a month of my heart being wrung out, I published my first book.

Buy my book to read more conversations.

+254701030005

Conversations Into Adulthood- By Cecilia Gathoni

 

1. Conversations on Becoming an Adult

There is a moment in every life when laughter becomes a little heavier, when one’s reflection in the mirror starts asking questions instead of giving answers. Conversations on Becoming an Adult opens with that subtle shift — the realization that growing up is not about birthdays or tax forms, but about the quiet decisions that shape one’s moral and emotional core.

In a voice that is both wry and wounded, Gathoni examines the intersections of independence, longing, and self-definition. Through recollections that oscillate between humour and heartbreak, she sketches a portrait of what it means to be an adult in a world that expects performance rather than authenticity.

There’s wine and worry, self-doubt and stubbornness, but also the smallest rebellions — like refusing to conform to someone else’s measure of success. It is a chapter for anyone who has ever whispered, “I think I’m doing this wrong,” only to realize that everyone else is, too.

A meditation on becoming and unbecoming, this is where the reader begins to sense the heartbeat of Conversations Into Adulthood — steady, vulnerable, human.

Would you like a copy of the book?

Text Gathoni at +254701030005

(Disclaimer, this article was AI Generated.)

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