…..I will go down with ship, I won't put my up my arms and surrender,
There will be no white flag above my door…
That seemed such a romantic anthem, a long time ago, but you grow up and things happen and the only true thing is the current breath which you hold on to. Well, that even seems even more romantic, a tragedy, the despair that comes from having nothing else to believe in but yourself and God.
But then the hard cold reality hits and you are thinking, no. I’m thinking. Oh no, I knew my life was a tragedy but this? It’s not even book material; this could make a classic novel. If I were Margret Mitchell or some other woman that wore long skirts and socks with her shoes.
I want to make resolutions, oaths and vows but searching deeper the best I can do is to be determined to have a very strong will. If I lived in that era, I would be one of those stoic widows, spinsters,, haha and now I’m laughing, meaning this blog post has served its purpose. To lift my spirits, and basically that is all I plan to do; things that I love to do, accomplish little goals, enhance my friendships and relationships, and take time out to meditate.
Not hummm…clear you mind and think of a peaceful beach…the one that I just sit and chomp down a long piece of sugar cane and count the number of insects and bugs that try to navigate my toes.
But it serves to mention that I am scared out of my wits.