Saturday, October 8, 2016

Alzheimers and Dementia- What's it's about.


It's about looking at you and wandering why you look familiar,
yes,
you my daughter.

It's about loosing things,
everything,
and looking and looking and not finding
and getting frustrated,
then fearful when you scold me.


It's about covering up for my memory,
Pretending to be tough and fine and in control.

It's about groping for words and names and ideas
and songs I used to know
and not grasping any, hating the world.

 It's about waking up in darkness, scared
 not finding the door for the rest of the night.

Nightmares in the night
Hallucinations in the day
Dejavu
and premonitions.

It's about arguments we have.
Arguments we'll have;
if you refuse my reality.

It's about losing friends and family and sleep.

It's about being in a cell so tight where no voice,
No strength,
And no amount of wishing can get me out.




It's about drugs and  nausea and bowel issues.
It's about being alone and wondering
why I'm so cold,
or so hot,
or so hungry.

It's about loud whispers behind my back.
I hold my tongue.

Within me  my spirit fights.
I restrain it

I'll be happy today.


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