I had a bad beginning this morning.
It was one of those mornings where you want to turn around and go back home.
Nonetheless, I love my job because as a INFP personality, doing something purposeful is enough motivation to get up when the alarms go off at five like a stringed instrument orchestra.
But most times I would rather take a Math test than go to work.
If I had a tunnel that could take me directly from my house to my desk without having to smile and wave and talk about Equinox I wouldn't mind it one bit.
Trying to muster up a happy, open and cheerful countenance is harder than the work I do actually.
I managed to get through the first hour but at Midday I wondered why don't I just ask to leave?
At lunch time I decided to watch some BBC Sitcoms. I munch up BBC sitcoms like oat biscuits, Black Books is a fine one and I relate to every character. Though when I need to laugh thoroughly I watch Jeeves and Wooster.
It gave me energy to face the three deadlines staring back at me from the screen, and of course it is at such times when the computer decides to reduce its pace. So of course I didn't beat the deadlines.
On my way home I made up my mind that I would go straight to bed. I would feed the cat, brush my teeth and sleep.
I would not even check how many like my Instagram post got.
Whatever
I deserve to be unhappy
Quite hysterically I run things in my head that have gone wrong or not worked out and how unfair life is and what's the use of trying too hard when nothing works anyway?
All day long I had been trying to make a huge decision and didn't know it was affecting my outlook.
There are never clear cut decisions and you only know if it was good or bad after you have made it.
When I got home I heated water, took a bath and as I was drying off my brain was making a calculation of the vegetables in the kitchen.
"I need and onion, ginger and carrots,,, "
Automatically I had started to plan what to cook.
OK, so I'm having supper after all.
I would not have my supper cold. I was going to make a proper meal and serve it on a proper plate and eat it with a fork.
And I really smiled at myself because that is the person I have created.
No matter how hard I push against her she will bring me back to common sense and make me do the things That need to be done.
After a long day, common sense dictates you take a bath, eat right and rest.
I cooked and after I had eaten I started to read about manna in the Bible, because I had been thinking about manna all day long and how collecting manna in a bright orange karai might have worked on some Israelite men's masculinity when they had been used to working hard physically to provide.
Husband: Honey, usipike, nakuja na supper.
Wife: Na hizo umeokota wapi?
I spoke to my friend about it. She laughed and asked so what's the manna you've been picking up?
Anyway the conversation went south after that but I was ready to sketch.
Because sketching has become part of my daily life
When I started it was simply to create good regular habits.
But now it serves two purposes . It forces me to write all the stories running through my head.
It also makes start something and finish it to the end.
Taking a bath
Eating good food
Daily Bible reading
Communicating with friends
Cleaning the floor, clearing dishes
All these might start as habits but then they become part of us.
(I don't always clear dishes but it's one of those long term goals)
The person we create will ensure that we stick to them. They become automatic and even on a bad day, you don't sleep in your work clothes just because.
The person we create pushes us to do better. To try harder even when we really feel like crap.
We are born creators, we can create an image of ourselves for the world to admire and applaud.
We can also create a significant human being inside who may never be applauded or even seen, but the job he does for us,,,, wacha tu.
No comments:
Post a Comment