Thursday, August 13, 2015

sorry, I really donno


With each day that passes, I realize that I know very little.

Like only this month(JULY) I fully understood what it means to:
treat older men as fathers, younger men like brothers, younger women like sisters, older women like mothers with all chasteness.

I have, what do you call it, a quite freelance approach to family set ups.
Perhaps because I was always treated like a grown up, and I learnt to treat adults like my agemates.
I call my aunts Perry and Jane  and my mother’s friends Lucy and Nyambura.
 and it never really bothered me.

But I am learning differently.
 And I almost fainted the other day when I  said to my friend’s father, Lucas how are things?

It felt odd. It’s never felt odd before but recently It started to bother me since everyone about me,
 I noticed, for the first time, despite their size, they call older women ‘mum.’
I’ve tried it, it’s not too bad. Though I won’t be calling anyone dad in this lifetime, I can’t pronounce it.

I could call them father of Hamadi or Mzee.
So anyway, I am a late bloomer but I know things will fall in place.

I’ll learn to sit quietly with my palms on my laps as someone tells me what a squid I am.
I donno, maybe I’ll stop to feel so strongly about everything.

Everything.

And remember no to try to control everything; time, people’s actions, my potted flowers.

No comments:

Post a Comment