10 years from now I will say 'I lost my mummy 10 years ago' and it won't have the same sting as it does now, although 10 years is a long time.. Will I still be standing?
Maybe I will have a couple of babies and too preoccupied with breastfeeding and PP2 Graduations .
I will not be too turned inwards as I am right now. But I don't want to forget that on the day we went to pick my mother's body from the morgue, I came out to faces of friends and family who came to mourn with me.
I had not decided whether I would view the body or not. And Mama King'ori holding tightly to me was saying you don't have to a cucu wa Kangemi was saying you need to and I remember asking for Munyeki to hold on to and collapsing into a chair and being led out, being asked to sign here and sign there and please keep this safely and do you want to sit down?
Then I came out and Lydia of Passion Fashions was standing outside in skinny Jeans and a pink Jacket. My cousins Maina Kabutu and Mwangi wa Pia came forward at the gate saying - Gathoni, tumekuja. And my late uncle's kids.
There were there and I didn't feel
abandoned.
I don't want to forget that when we were discussing what kind of dress to put on mummy I said please don't buy anything pink. And my aunt went and had a green dress made, my mother's favourite color.
I can only imagine if my mother heard Jesus voice and came out in a pink dress. I'm sure she would rip it off, then we would have to look for a leso or some leaves.
Well, at least we know she will be happy she got up in green. She will look at the material and probably say- this one looks like Riveroad material-
I don't want to forget that
on the day we went to have the post mortem done,
my uncles bought me lunch.
It tasted like sawdust.
Then we stood outside the gate at Outspan to wait for the doctor to come out of a meeting.
They smoked five packets of cigarettes as we waited. They were nervous. I was not, at the moment. I guess they were more nervous about me seeing my mother's body being cut up.
They smoked some more.
I bought some yellow passion fruits and cracked them open, one after the other and read a Watchtower.
I have a way of being calm in emergencies,
my mother used to say maybe
I'm not understanding, but I do.
I break down after.
My distress is private.
In this respect I am Scarlett O'hara. I can tell my mind and body- don't panic now- panic tomorrow- or tonight at 2a.m everyone is asleep and I start sending them messages (I have priceless friends. They call back and calm me down or just listen) or I get up at 3 a.m coz I have remembered I forgot to put an apostrophe in a word in my will.
I'm composing an article about what to expect when you lose a close family member. From my own experiences and from the research I've done in the last one month.
Maybe I will have a couple of babies and too preoccupied with breastfeeding and PP2 Graduations .
I will not be too turned inwards as I am right now. But I don't want to forget that on the day we went to pick my mother's body from the morgue, I came out to faces of friends and family who came to mourn with me.
I had not decided whether I would view the body or not. And Mama King'ori holding tightly to me was saying you don't have to a cucu wa Kangemi was saying you need to and I remember asking for Munyeki to hold on to and collapsing into a chair and being led out, being asked to sign here and sign there and please keep this safely and do you want to sit down?
Then I came out and Lydia of Passion Fashions was standing outside in skinny Jeans and a pink Jacket. My cousins Maina Kabutu and Mwangi wa Pia came forward at the gate saying - Gathoni, tumekuja. And my late uncle's kids.
There were there and I didn't feel
abandoned.
I don't want to forget that when we were discussing what kind of dress to put on mummy I said please don't buy anything pink. And my aunt went and had a green dress made, my mother's favourite color.
I can only imagine if my mother heard Jesus voice and came out in a pink dress. I'm sure she would rip it off, then we would have to look for a leso or some leaves.
Well, at least we know she will be happy she got up in green. She will look at the material and probably say- this one looks like Riveroad material-
I don't want to forget that
on the day we went to have the post mortem done,
my uncles bought me lunch.
It tasted like sawdust.
Then we stood outside the gate at Outspan to wait for the doctor to come out of a meeting.
They smoked five packets of cigarettes as we waited. They were nervous. I was not, at the moment. I guess they were more nervous about me seeing my mother's body being cut up.
They smoked some more.
I bought some yellow passion fruits and cracked them open, one after the other and read a Watchtower.
I have a way of being calm in emergencies,
my mother used to say maybe
I'm not understanding, but I do.
I break down after.
My distress is private.
In this respect I am Scarlett O'hara. I can tell my mind and body- don't panic now- panic tomorrow- or tonight at 2a.m everyone is asleep and I start sending them messages (I have priceless friends. They call back and calm me down or just listen) or I get up at 3 a.m coz I have remembered I forgot to put an apostrophe in a word in my will.
I'm composing an article about what to expect when you lose a close family member. From my own experiences and from the research I've done in the last one month.
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