Little Red Riding Hood, a very short story.

This is my friend Steve.

We are in these woods collecting firewood to cook this meat:

We were meant to go hiking  but it rained at  Ngong Hills so we of course found a back up plan. 

You cannot go back home on a Saturday when your neighbours already saw you leave like you had major weekend plans while they were all doing weekend washing. Alafu you come back at 10 a.m. si they will think you have started trading sukuma wiki from Limuru to Marikiti then on Monday you hear a knock at your door at 4.am someone requesting ' please buy for me maize for boiling when you go to the market.' How do you start explaining you are not a market trader at 4.00 a.m on a Monday morning?

Steve says
'By the way, so these are like the woods Little Red Riding Hood was getting eaten in by a Fox?'

I say 'was it not the grandmother that got eaten?'
Steve says 'yes then the Fox wore the grandmother's dress.'

'And hat,' says Maureen K.

Then I ask if they ever heard the Kikuyu version of Little Red Riding Hood.
Steve says 'yes, our shushu used to tell us stories but they were horror stories. After that you couldn't get yourself to cross over to the sleeping house.
Many Kikuyu fables were horror stories.'

 Steve says ' I miss my shush' but I don't hear him.
'But she will be resurrected.' Is what I hear.
''She will?' I ask.
'Yes, ' Steve says
'Little Red Riding Hood's shushu will be resurrected?'

'Little Red Riding Hood' Maureen chirpes in. 
'No, I said my Shushu, she died.'

I don't know why we start laughing.
The three of us. 

Maureen K, Nelson K and Me

Little Red Riding Hood's Shushu unfortunate end or the hope of Steve's Shushu being   resurrected inspite of her horror stories.
My hair gets caught in a bush.
 Nelson tries to disentangle me.

Maureen says '  Wait this is a picture moment'.

*at this point in the story I realise Steve is Steve K, there is Maureen K, and  Nelson K. So Mimi pia  si nijiite Gathoniciss K? We shall find the vowels to go with it later on 2020 is still young.)

So I ask him to plan to go preaching with me now that he is in Nairobi and he says:

'Aki Sato nishapanga kwenda shopping,'
(He has plans to go shopping)

And I laugh some more.
But that is Steve. 
He is hilarious.

He is also the brother you never had. The brother who you can send to the kiosk for pads and he comes back with juice and wet wipes too in case you are feeling dehydrated.


Steve is at a stage where he really doesn't care. 
He is happily serving his God while eating coconut rice and madafu at his own pace.

Let everybody deal with their own conscience.



He makes a great Shrink as well.
You end up telling him even what you hadn't planned to.

The meat was delicious. Thanks to chief barbecurist Godi.