When
a family member has Alzheimer’s disease in Kenya; often times it
seems as though a bomb as been dropped into the family to scatter
everyone. People vanish. And only the very strong ones; and those
that have no choice, who tiptoe back to view how matters stand.
Truth
is, if the person with Alzheimer’s is the family pillar; which is
often the case(mothers, fathers, grandparents, older siblings), woe
to the bystanders. Those that used to receive command from this one
stand listlessly waiting for direction on what next.
Those
that have their wits about them and have more heart than all of us
cowards; stagger at the new responsibility of finding out just how
different, how difficult the foreseeable future seems to be.
How
not to Reel Over
Remember
you are not the first to ever give care to an ALZ patient. So listed
are a few pointers gleaned from the ALZKenya.org support group meeting, to help you find balance in your new capacity
as the care giver.
- Pray
Psalms
18:6.Ask for help from the one that understands stuff which no one
else can. He will give you wisdom which will prove to be an asset in
the coming days.
- Involve other concerned members who genuinely want to assist.
Call
that meeting, don’t postpone it. But you
will need to be firm; unless you like to put up with rubbish without
going insane. Suggestions are welcome but interference in your care
methods are a no no. Are they ready to take over? No? Then may they
kindly SHUT UP and let you do your job.
- Get a backbone (borrow, lease, buy, or make one out of lead).
You
will be with the patient every
day, they will tell tales
and prefer some family members despite you constant care. You know
how much; emotionally, financially is required every
day. A backbone will also
be also useful when dealing with friends who will think:
- Your family member is bewitched
- Has lost their mind
- Meddled with someone’s property and now facing consequences.
If
they have nothing positive to say, don’t be afraid to hurt their
feelings by explaining how unnecessary their visits are.
- Spare your money.
You
will need to stretch your money longer. Find an accountant to value
the patient’s property and help you budget. Avoid impromptu buys or
treatment expenditures. Constant cash will be required for cleaning
detergent, helpers, proper diet, transport and drugs.
- Get a caretaker.
There
is comfort in knowing your are doing your sick family member service
by being their sole caretaker, but you need help. You need breaks and
rests and get-a ways. A trained caretaker will even do a better job
than you could accomplish with all your other responsibilities.
- Open your heart wide and love your dear one.
They
will thank you in their own way. In spite of downtime, you will get
the satisfaction of doing all you can, and you will know you have
their confidence by the trust and value they will show towards you.
Nobody
said it was easy
No
one ever said it would be this hard