Africa Tulikosea nani twende tukaseme sorry honestly?

 One of my English students is a white GenX male with a lot of information about his own country, and a lot of opinions about the rest of the world.

We argue a lot, especially when we talk about Geopolitics, and he disappears for three weeks, but humbly comes back and we try to talk about other things.

Like that time during World Cup when he said the classic line by World Cup commentators- Africans have raw talent, it's more of instinct than strategy-

 si nakwambia niliwaka moto wa blue.

 It reminded me of the film- Get Out- featuring the Ugandan guy, Kaluuya. I have never watched the film from start to finish, but I have watched the analysis. Just like any former film student will tell you.

Studying film spoils things for you somehow.

So last week we started talking about the French Protests. My student believes the problems in first world countries are caused by immigrants.

'White people are being killed everyday.'

'By Africans?'

'By immigrants.'

'From Morocco?'

'Immigrants come from many places not just Africa, we even have Asian. But Asians are very calm and respect the laws.'

'But why would someone who is there illegally want to ruin his opportunity by commiting a crime?' I asked.

'Why is it only young men arrive in Europe? Why not women and children?'

I shook my head because- seriously? seriously?

'The young men come there to work, to get money to send home, that's why I doubt they would want  to cause  trouble, they have a lot to lose because some have left their families, wives, children and parents depend on them. And I don't think the problem in France have anything to do with illegal immigration. Have you heart of the Sahel Coalition?'

He hadn't.

And because I have some Pan Africanism gene that sometimes wants to overpower me, I told him about Ibrahim Traoré and about the unification of the Sahel states- Mali, Niger and how they are taking back power from their former colonies by reclaiming rights to processing of raw materials. I gave him an example of how the Burkina Faso president has made changes in mining, land and export laws.

I also talked about Sankara, Lumumba and  Kwame Nkuruma. Topics I have no clue about but if I took an off from my life and studied history- not the colonial history but the Oral history that is available in the mouth of every African in the content, I would emerge a Guerrilla warrior fighting battles I would never win.

 So to avoid disappointment I have learnt to live by this important quote from Animal Dreams : 

 "What life can I live that will let me breathe in & out and love somebody or something and not run off screaming into the woods?" 

I later did some research and discovered that France was only benefiting at  about 5% from West Africa's Cobalt, Gold and Uranium (A claim which many would respond to by asking, how about the past?)

It doesn't help that  am very opinionated. It doesn't serve me well either that I have too many questions about who really owns Africa.

I should just mind my own business, as long as I am breathing in and out and eating my ugali omena. I should be fine for the next 15 or 25 years allocated to me.

'

Cecilia Gathoni's Books

 

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African Authors Recognition Awards

 

Nominated for the African Authors Recognition Awards

My book shown here, has been nominated for the above awards to be held in Namibia.

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An Adult's Pyramid of Possessions

 

A Live Dog is Better than a Dead Lion

 Exactly seven years ago yesterday, my mother died.

Today I thought about how many sacrifices she made for me, as only a mother can.

When I was 31 she said to me ' if life is hard just come back home '

I had tried and tried but nothing was corking, and when I did come back home, I continued to work for a dying maagazine that was paying me KES 4000 four times a year. I was applying for jobs but getting no openings.

My mother would buy a small milk- the 20bob one. for me to have some tea in the morning, the rest I would figure it out.

I knew we were both struggling but mehn, nothing was working at all, for  about two years. I was metally frayed, because whenever I walked around and saw people in business I thought, I wish I could start a business. if I passed by a big building, I would think- wow- people actually work here and get paid. I remember one time my mother flipping the covers off my bed and telling me to ' Get up and find work!' 'Naivas is hiring and you are still sleeping.'

How could I even explain to her that I had no confidence left. I didn't even think I could get hired as a super market cashier. I was afraid that the world had chewed and spat me out.

why didnt I finish my degree? Was my constant bug forming an error in my mind. I had forgotten the struggles of several years before when I had been thrown hither and thither in a foreign country when I tried to renew an expiring Visa and was told that an expired visa meant  a five year imprisonment. Life was already rough on the outside, time in incarceration? I would have died. I had already seen what happened to Nigerian Nationals who had missed their visa renewals, or been caught on tourist visas instead of student visas.

 Until a friend asked me to do some interviews and writing for the NGO she was working at. I was earning KES 10,000. So I decided to move out because I was embarassed to be at living in my mother's house at that age, and embarassed that I couldn't even give enough money to cover the bills. How do I explain it?

In my mind, I was like, ah, let me go suffer in private. My earnings got to 13k. My rent was 4k

I was on a beans and veg diet for many many days, but you know what, it was under control. 

I felt like at least I could organise my life, no matter how shredded it looked like.

But all in all, I feel grateful for the role a living parent plays.