Saturday, May 27, 2017

Mathree Route Kajiado: The American Dream

I sat next to Miss lady, an education officer at Jogoo House. And she told me everything that is wrong with Kenya and Kenyans, then she told me all that is right with the US and Americans.

She said it was very important that one gets out of this country a bit to see the difference.
Of course, she then told us about her daughter living in Texas. I remembered my friend telling me about a feature article Wahome Mutahi, Wh wrote about -your moment of fame-

This is when you get a chance to travel somewhere, like I traveled to Arusha some years back, but I will always silence people by using the statement- when I was in Arusha, this and that.

‘’The roads are nothing like this flimsy Thika Highway we gape at.” Miss lady gestured.

The little girl, I mean the young lady wearing nice perfume and a little orange lace dress said she was going to study in the US.
Miss lady showed pictures of her daughter in the US
The lace wearing Miss showed pictures of her father’s family in the US.

Every young person should move to the US; study hard like my daughter, get a good job not waitressing, and send money home to build two plots, you will be sorted for life.  "If you are clever, you could even get a temporary husband."

Temporary? I asked.

“Yes, it’s very simple, you just agree with a man who is a citizen, you get married, you divorce, but, and listen carefully. Keep the divorce papers. Si now you are a citizen, what can you not do?”
“But no she would not leave in the U S. I’m too busy here, today I’m in Mombasa, Baringo tomorrow, and over the weekend I’ll go for dowry ceremonies with my friends, a little dancing always does me over.”

‘Do you know where Dreamline buses are booked?’ Miss Lace dress asked.
“You are going to Mombasa?”  Miss Lady shrieked.

“Oh, this is too wonderful, I am going to Mombasa too tomorrow, but I can book today. Then she turns to me, you know, she will pass by office when she goes to the US to study. She must get a signature form my office.”

Then they hold hands and walk happily to catch the Dreamline.

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

This chic: 5 Types of relationships to keep you from toppling over

Your Boys
:) who's missing?
Your boys were created so they can restore your faith in humanity or the male species in general. If you have started going down the cynical path and you are afraid of turning into a bitter 4o year old spinster with nothing good to say about anything apart from complaining about the cost of bread these days and how much Safaricom is stealing from you everyday.
I come from a family where the ratio of boys to girls is 3:1. Off the top of my head I just counted 13. What that means is I have been in the company of boys most of my life until that time it becomes awkward, coz they are not blood brothers, though it shouldn’t, but boundaries in society make it so, so we end up missing out on important human interaction.
“Boys shouldn’t shell peas.”
“Girls should not go into cinema halls to watch DJ Afro films.”
My boy cousins are  my buddies and we have the most laughs with them and their friends become my friends too.
I guess that is why I am comfortable  around members of that race especially if they fall under the same age as my little cousins, who are not so little anymore.
Your boys are important. If they understand they are your boys, and nothing more.
Thy are important because, even when anyone else in the world does not believe in you, and even when you have stopped believing in yourself,they are right there, cheering you on.
You start to talk about the Chrysler you are going to buy and they take up the story, and send you pictures of the different colors available and you know what that does to your self esteem? 
the car
My boy friends are not surprised to receive phone calls from me, close to tears when my desktop has shut down. Regardless of whether they know about computers or not,they will come and fix it.
In standard seven, primary school, there was a big scandal that might have had me beaten up by some classmates but my boys protected me. Three of my boys ganged up with some other mean looking boys and sorted the whole affair for me and for the rest of primary school, my bffs were three boys.
In college, my boys prevented me from going into depression when I couldn’t find accommodation in the no-Africans Condos, unless you were a non-black African.


So my boys said, no matter, we’ll just pile up into one room and leave you the other one Cici. And then we all went for a ride.
Greg's missing here

Your boys must be treasured, you don't take them for granted. You give them good advice and  once in a while the outcome is positive then you know this is working.

Monday, May 8, 2017

Nĩũnguaga wana- Wa Kioi Junior


How do you view me, you?….Aii….

I am not getting you clearly
Can you repeat what you said?
Or maybe one of my dials has moved places
The mouth is foolish sometimes it dismisses food
I am very happy to know your weakness.

You came to my house wearing an overcoat on a sunny day
And you had gumboots on
You were confused like a hungry dog.
When I started to laugh you said:
‘These issues are beyond me, come Kioi
Speak to her I cannot manage on my own.’

Me, the one who speaks on your behalf
Am I also the one destroying your home?
When you have wronged your wife I come and settle matters between you
I take you as my friend but to you I’m just
Material you build your home with,
You view me in a childish way.

I’m not embarrassed to say I’m like one who dies innocently
The stupidity is all my own
Coz Rua had told me:
‘When two people who love each other  have an issue..’
That son of my mother told me: ‘Just keep quiet’ (don’t get involved)
I had set you free from a trap
Just to have you trap me in it.

It is not once or twice you wife
Has caught you with a mistress
Then we’d plan, you told her she was my dame
And because she knows I don’t have these people
She would believe us.
Had I known,
You would be denying it with evidence on your lips.


Now you are saying I ring your house
And I don’t even have your wife’s number
Ask Diki
If I had known you bite when we were laughing together
I’d have stuffed an umbrella in your mouth and opened it.

You are lying to your wife I’m the one that introduced you to alcohol
Can’t you tell her the truth, how you have the key?
When you don’t go home and sleep in the city
Where do you sleep and with whom?

When you don’t go home and sleep in the city
Where do you sleep and with whom?

I will not judge you, You are a fool but you don’t even know it
I understand where you are coming from.
Gitau from Rongai had told me,
Everybody knows
You are sat on like chairs (henpecked)


This part is spoken  with instruments  that take on a whole stanza.
Gitau exhauster
You had told me
I will not judge.

Karis of Kinyozi poa
When you see such people
Take off mbuga mbuga
That is like saying this, ‘what is in it for me?’

Even Rua had warned me
And I said
“It’s just friendship, friendship.”
Can you hear me, Wa Yuni?
Greet that one, the one that shares a mother with that other one,
Even that one is my friend.
Greet all people of Kabiti and Makuyu.

Translation challenges
Nĩũnguaga wana... when you say that to someone, the direct translation is -you carry me childish- But what it means is you are looking down on me, you are despising me, you are refusing to acknowledge my real value. It is had to make a clear translanslation without losing the real meaning.
I had issues translating muhiki. The real meaning of the word is a bride.
But I translated as mistress, since he has a wife.
Mũhiki can be girlfriend if it I is a woman you are dating but secretly, so people say he has a mũhiki.
When it is a girlfriend people don’t take seriously, or is big in size, she becomes Kĩhiki.
 I need to find out what KĩHIKI is for the KĩHIKI Beauty translation coming up on Sublime Innocence.

I love The instruments and the careless style in this song.
He is out there to sing, not make a song.
When I feel annoyed at someone carrying me childish I sing along to this song. It reminds me of the absurdities in life. And there are many.  Like this man who thinks his friend  the singer is after his wife. True, there are cases where spouses have been snitched but I doubt anybody is willing to risk a friendship for that.  I’m I naïve? Would I go for my married girlfriend’s husband? Why? Aren’t there a million single men from here to the YAP islands?

Efficiency, why we must learn to be.

 There are no schools that you will sign up to to learn how to be efficient. Most will teach you a profession or a skill and it's up to ...