Day 9

I’ve been struggling with this since 7p.m, it’s now half past ten., I don’t feel like there’s much to report.
My associate, Lluvia, who is sketching illustrations for the stories will bring them tomorrow. I’m looking forward to looking at them. I also rearranged one of the stories, which I already sent to Story Moja for consideration. My friend suggested I make a better opening. So I think I’ll translate this version and pitch it either to the same publisher or another.
Thing is, I’ve done a lot of mouth work. Telling all my friends with young children that my books are coming out soon, and they all say, yes we shall buy. Actually, when I tell people I’m going to publish books they say- oh really, we’re waiting. And I know some who have been waiting very long.
Last night I did some serious work. I opened a Paypal account to facilitate the online publishing idea. Spent the entire evening squinting at the screen trying to find out where the code is. I still don’t know how to get the code. If anyone knows, do tell, the instructions on their website didn’t help me.
Three years ago when I was ready to publish, I had three sponsors. I still owe one his share. I refunded the others when the publisher asked for more than he had asked initially. My friend Ken put in the sketches and background and designed so many covers according to my whim. To this day I still feel, what a delay, this book should be out in print.
I just need to get away from my day dreams for two weeks and I’ll have something tangible. That’s why I have this blog. This is my watchman. I’m also cooking, to help me to concentrate. Well, at least that’s what I hope it will accomplish. I think of what to combine and then stand there and wait for the food to cook. The days of burning food to a crisp are fading into the past. So today I made a potatoes and a sardine curry, it turned out better than I thought even though I forgot to add garlic and lemon as I had planned to and nothing burned.

Day 8

I would like to go for a coffee with an artist. We’d talk about the structures, the waiters and make up stories about the people next table. Then we’d meet a year later and pick up from where we left.

This morning I was thinking about one time I visited an artist’s house. There were paintings and montages , sculptures and music. I drunk the coffee offered and looked around feeling quite happy.

Out of the 6 lists I made of things to do last week, I ticked off 35 of them. That’s something. I know I run around aimlessly panicking and running out of breath, but at the end of the day things get done.

So this week I have a different list.
1. Collect together the first three chapters of my novel,
write an introduction letter and send to the publishers by
15th March.I mean May.
2. Make inquiries to online publishing organizations.
3. Write the so said 5 articles to save my life
(Will tell more about this in future).

Please remind me if I forget. This is not the first time I've had a deadline . The only difference is this time, whether I do this or not will determine what my life will be like in a few months.

I’ll make myself a dress with the material that remained after making the therapy bags. Yes I got paid for them, and bought airtime to call home later tonight.

Day 7

Aren’t they just cute!
I hope their owners will think the same. I completed them this morning, took me exactly one week.
Last night was short, I didn’t write for many reasons and excuses. I got home and every part of my body was aching. So bad the sewing I did went all wrong because I was so sleepy and I had to re-do it this morning.

Most of today was spent Googling publishers and connections. I can’t say I’ve accomplished much. Been Trying to find an illustrator I worked with three years ago, he worked for Mountain Top Publishers, but all I can remember was his phrase-shika hadithi, although I’m not sure, it might have been kamata hadithi. The reason is, the company published children’s stories, so I could ask him something to that effect.
The other option is to publish online. I’m warming up to the idea. Let me Google some more to get comfortable.
Somehow I feel disappointed with myself, I think it comes from living alone. It gets to you.
I tried attracting some birds to feed at my balcony, two started coming and then I thought- I’m only in this house for a few weeks. So when they came today I just looked at them and I felt more lonely than ever.
There was an article I was writing , about beauty cosmetics for a beauty magazine called Extravaganza. It didn’t add up.
This week has been extremely exhausting and with the authorities threatening to deport me each day; it’s no wonder I feel blank and blur.
Also, my design project is not making me feel happy at all. I showed the designs to Lewis-he’s a system’s admin and he said-Let me work on them this weekend, yeah, don’t trouble your little head-
I drunk a ginger ale yesterday, the first one in Malaysia and it was a total fail. Tasted like something you drink from a bowl. I miss the Kenyan one. Reason why I mention this is because every other drink I’ve tried got me hooked. Here’s a first I never want to try again.

Day 6

I took these pictures on my way home after watching some men using stones and sticks to catch fish in a drain. It was interesting to watch. Then I saw these pools on
the grass and they reminded me of childhood. We'd never get these in my grannys' farm, but in her friend's farm , when it rained, the fields would have these and uncle Kamande would take me to fish for tadpoles,and wade in the water. It was very exciting.
Today will be a short one. I lost a friend last week, she was buried today. I didn’t attend the funeral. The hang ups of being away from home.
Pretty sad, she left a sweet little boy. But we are not without hope.
I got a response for my short story this morning. Not a very good one. My opening was not catchy enough, and my character was not well described. Any ‘not good enough’ report floors me for a few hours, so I was sulking for most of the day. I went and borrowed Anne of Green Gables in a addition to what I’ve been reading- Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. May be I’ll be more imaginative after reading Anne, the second movie was excellent, and from the few chapters I read today, the book is just as good.
I started a story about little ordinary stones, but I got lost in the middle when I saw someone looking over my head to read it.
The story I sent in for editing was also returned, and my friend says it’s a nice story but bees don’t drink tea and eat salad. Hmm, is that good or bad? I guess my imagination went a little too far this time.

DAY 5

I almost forgot to write. It’s been a busy day. I’m back to stitching bags for a living, so I’ve been sitting on the floor all day. I also got a proof reading gig and that’s what I’ve been doing this evening, even though it’s like paraphrasing, not easy but good, and if it’ll buy me food for two days, I’ll bring out allt he Longmans and Macmillan’s.
My friend Robert has taken the challenge to help me translate my stories into Swahili, so I sent him one story which I edited(punctuation and word arrangement) last night. I also sent it to Lluvia for the Illustrations. Why didn’t I translate it myself? I tried, but after not speaking Swahili or even Swanglish for two years, I have forgotten even basic words like what’s color brown in Swahili?
Sewing is calm and relaxing, it’s also a chance for deep thoughts.
I might be full of regrets and worry and wondering- what was I high on when I said yes I’ll go to Malaysia, but now I begin to realize the reason I said yes. Everyday I learn something new about myself I never knew. Like I always thought I was the nicest, most reasonable, likable and kind person in the universe.
Wrong.
I also had the vain idea that I’m clean and neat.
After sharing apartments with different people and personalities. I begin to realize, oh no, I still need a few more years to work on this and that.
If nothing else, Malaysia is a training ground.
After this, I won’t be any richer, younger or prettier.
Hopefully, I’ll be more easy to put up with. Perhaps I’ll stop staring at my own nose all the time.

DAY 4

When I woke up today, the first thing that hit my mind was market. Could be from the fact that I was listening to some old tunes from my village, the same ones you hear when you go to the market. So nothing else was keeping still in my mind because of market. None of my friends were feeling me. When the sun set I set for the market and bought veggies. I got cheated by the onion guy. He weighted my collection when I was notlooking and I’m so sure that was not a kilo, he cheated me in broad daylight. But I had a nice bargain at one stand where two guys were screaming satu ringgit satu ringgit, 1 Ringgit, 1 Ringgit!The normal hawker style. For the sole reason that I asked if they have Timun. Timun is cucumber. They stopped screaming for a while to ask me how come I can say Timun. They would have packed everything for me free and waved goodbye with open mouths.
Literary wise, my friend Tlotlego says she can proof read the story I typed the other day. And she ought to, I named one of the characters after her- wait until she finds out.
Last night I slept late doing research on an article. It’s a challenge which will help my brain expand a little and hopefully squeeze out some creative juice.

I found out something interesting concerning left handed people. Did you now that light bulbs, screws, scissors, table drawers, pocket shirts and even kitchen knives are all to the advantage of right handed people?

I wish we were colonized by the Chinese. Imagine falling in love in Chinese. Wo ai ni.
In Kikuyu, O, ai, niÎ? Aca.

Day 3

I just finished typing the story I wrote on Sunday for a children’s book. It’s not proof read or punctuated, that will come later. Typing it out is always the harder part.
The idea is to type them all out and edit later. I’m not putting any deadlines on this one, but I have a goal in mind. The publisher got back to me, said he will read my e-mail, so I’m waiting. My agent is not very enthusiastic but I’m sure he’ll come through at some point.
I’m I a fool for trying to publish? Earn a living from writing stories? Maybe. Story tellers have to be a bit foolish in the mind to make stories happen. Maybe not. I’ve not pushed this hard before, it’s worth a try, and I’ll have nothing to lose.
I know my mistakes;
1. I can be very lazy. I have very many half length stories
2. I get distracted easily
3. Sometimes I cannot control the thoughts running across my
mind like two toddlers high on sugar
4. I don’t like to proof read my own writing- honestly
5. I’m afraid of criticism. So I hide most of my work form other’s eyes