THIS CHIC- 5 girls you will meet in your lifetime.

Harriet

In her book Emma, Jane Austen creates a character called Harriet who is too good natured but naive. When she meets Emma, she falls into the latter’s shadow and all her insecurities come out.

do I look pretty in this?

Emmmmmaaa, you are so smart

A Harriet is a girl who is full of good intentions but has little confidence in herself. She constantly needs someone to reassure her.She will put on some lipstick, but wipe it off if her Emma asks why she put on lipstick today. She will like a guy but will not go out with him until Emma says it’s okay.

Harriet will be unsteady until she has an Emma, she tries to make an Emma out of everybody she meets, so in a sense she is a groupie, not going anywhere alone.If you are an Emma, you just found your hand bag.

Bwanangu

This is a recently married girl, two or three years in a marriage . Her husband is the best thing second only to her love of cooking. She will talk about him, of him and like him to everybody in the plot. If she is from Coast, she will talk of mume wangu this mume wangu that. If she is from Western, it will be bwanangu, a Nairobi wife will talk of mzee wangu, a wife from Central Kenya but living in Nairobi will talk of ‘my husband’ and you will all be watching to see this husband, perform  miracle at least will you.

This chick only buys new clothes from boutiques and Garissa lodge.

East Africa's Next Top Model 

This is a girl I like to study. Her best skill is looking mean at everybody. Her sense of style is NYC to the minute. She is not afraid to dress up in bare backs and wear big hair. She doesn’t smile. No.

She is skilled at is baring teeth at other girls. She will have fake nails and a shinny handbag. She will only wear heels and animal print wedges. But she will have some secret fear when you get to know her. Like she will always be on edge, she might be terrified of bus conductors and River road.

She walks as though paparazzi was at her heels, so you can never have a real conversation with her coz she has to have the right face just in case someone took a picture. 

My dad my hero

 

This one you know. She is her daddy’s princess and daddy is her only hero, and she will remind you every day. My dad said if I don’t spend all the money in my account by the 5th of this month I will only get two credit cards next month.  My dad said vegetables are for rabbits and goats.Yeah. And you will look at her in horror and sympathy and hope nobody else heard that.
Surprisingly, it's not easy to hate this girl. You realise she is just silly and feel bad for her when she is sad about something, coz the world can be unforgiving. You pity the fellow she will marry but then you remember it's non of your business. 

Rory Gilmore

This is a girl you will like, but you may never reach friendship levels with her because she will have one best friend from childhood, and she will have several admirers. Regardless of her background, she will not let that affect her. She has a stable mind, she got good grades, she eats good food and uses a perfume that smells like baby fabric softner. She will have an expensive watch and a locket either given by her big brother or her mother. She can't drive though, for her tendency to daydream

She will marry a family friend she has known since childhood.  

Next:the squinter, the tomboy, hurry!while stocks last, miss etiquette

THIS CHIC

Every month a new article is born.

Some articles take years to write, some take days

Some take a few minutes.

Sometimes when an idea is so strong and wants to get out

I get up in the middle of the night and start scribbling.

Some of these will never see the light of day

I write them for me.

Some articles fill me with fear

What will the audience think?

What if they take it as a representation of my true self

As it truly is;

What if they start to view me as:

THIS CHIC.

Two of my close friends call me- this chic-

Perhaps they are still trying to understand why I do things the way I do

Perhaps they are surprised each time I say something that should have remained in the brain

I have a new monthly called -THIS CHIC-

It might raise controversy. I am very very scared of it.

But, if I don’t publish it, I will never rest.

It has nothing to do with me

It has everything to do with the women folk I interact with everyday.

Don’t shoot the messenger please please.

It has taken me exactly  two years to publish- The fatherless race-

I am no longer scared of it now

It still needs a lot of work though.

But I am a determined chic

Like only thin people know how.

Online Writing Tips for freelance writers

The question I got recently was- I only write fiction, can I apply for online writing jobs? And an accompanying article that got me so intrigued I suggested the writer send it to Magunga.com.

 So can you write about other topics if you only have experience in one topic?

The writing police will tell you to focus on one form of writing, so that you can become better and eventually become an expert. True;that works for  print media, where they require you to write on a specific topic every month and your cheque matures on the 10^th of the next month just like that.

For five years I wrote about ICT and Agriculture for Business and Finance magazines. It involved visiting farms, Agricultural shows, Veterinaries, Productin Units. Places I didn’t mind very much. Farmers are generous. One farmer gave us a basket of broccoli, beet root and spinach. Another let us pick mushrooms from his farm.

That is print media. The work is alright, the pay is alright but it can get repetitive if that’s all you are doing. You need to changamka a bit and mix in a little online writing.

What do you need to become an online writer?

Two things: 

•   Love the internet
•   Have an imagination.

Writing is just about arranging words to fit into the desired outcome. Remember, words are like fabric in a tailor’s hands. The fabric can become anything when handled right. Handle words right and you will come up with anything.

handle words like fabric

 

What I do:

Say you are only good at writing health articles, then out of the big blue sky you are asked to write five articles about condominiums in the Bahamas.

I arrange my research into three parts, by thinking of titles I can work with. This is where my imagination comes in. I come up with titles like;

•   Why you should get a Condominium that doesn’t offer lift service in the Bahamas.
•  Two bedroom Condominiums available for small families!
• Will moving to a Condominium in the Bahamas improve my physical health?

I then search my keywords around these. The last two articles will be easy to write, you just need titles like;

• Consider Bahamas Condominiums for your retirement
• Beach Condominiums in Bahamas, 2016.

  So you see you can still throw in something about health in all the above titles.

(pictures all google imaged)

Socializing the introvert- 5 reasons we are avoiding you and no, we don’t hate you.

Did you just have two Red-bulls?

No? Well, why are you screaming, cheering, jumping, spinning?

 I cannot understand what you’re saying. You are an explosive, and we are afraid if you ask us to go bungee jumping we might just say yes.

 If we are avoiding you it doesn’t mean we hate you, or we got another bff. It just means we cannot handle that amount of energy right now. 

Baga Baga

Baga Baga (fager fager) is  kikuyu word for restlessness it means, you are too busy. I feel like I am staring at prints and stripes and lots of sunshine and I feel confused.

We like calm, but you keep getting up every few minutes. You are unnerving us. We feel like we need to step out to give your ADH some space.

You are asking questions

Gathoni, are you okay?

 Gathoni, are you bored?

 Gathoni, are you feeling alright?

Are you sure you are not bored?  Shall we leave?

Gathoni, say something.

I am okay, I am not bored, I already said I like the party, I am having fun sitting here, saying nothing. Okay?

You have info and you want info.

 We like to listen to stories, but not stories about other people’s domestic arrangements. That is worse than watching Mexican soaps. We don’t want to know who bought a big house but is now broke.

You are surprised we didn’t hear Kim broke up with Monica?

 Tell us about the strange shoe maker who makes fancy clocks out of old shoes. That, we wanna  know.

You like to twist our hand

We introverts can be very very free, easy, laid back  and all that. But if we discover you have  found a way to make us do things we haven’t thought about, planned for and turned it around the head for the last three months, we will keep off. Whether it is something good or bad. We move at our own pace.

It’s true, I like that dress, it’s only 200 bob, it would look good on me. But I am not gonna buy it. Not today, and don’t even try to buy it for me, I’ll never wear it, unless you are a female relative, then I don’t have much choice.