My 15 impressions from Little Women, the book

I hate book synopsis so I won’t bore you with that, that you can just Google. For the last couple of months I have been involved in Little Women. I tried to stretch it but I had to finish it in the end, but I got to say- best read 2016 for me. And if you are a woman between five and 105 years old and haven’t read it, look for it.

1. On trusting in God

The more you love and trust him, the nearer you will feel to him, and the less you will depend on human power and wisdom. His love and care never tire or change, can never be taken from you, but may be the source of lifelong peace, happiness and strength. Believe this heartily and go to God with all your little cares, and hopes, and sins, and sorrows as freely and confidingly as you come to me- Mrs March.

2. On marriage worthiness and why poverty is not a determent to sincere companionship

Better to be happy old maids than happy wives or unmaidenly girls, running about to find husbands.

“Don’t be troubled Meg, poverty seldom daunts a sincere lover. Some of the best and most honored women I know were poor girls, but so love worthy that they were not allowed to be old maids. Leave these things to time. Make this home happy, so that you may be fit for homes of your own, if they are offered you, and contented here if they are not. One thing remember my girls, mother  is always ready to be your confidant, father to be your friend, and both of use hope and trust that our daughters, whether married or single, will be the pride and comfort of our lives.(Just like that, no pressure, Mrs March, bless you woman.)

- How could I ask you to gif up so much for a poor old fellow, who has no fortune but a little learning?-The Professor

I'm glad you are poor. I couldn't bear a rich husband, said Jo decidedly, adding in a softer tone, Don't fear poverty. I've known it long enough to lose my dread and be happy working for those I love, and don't call yourself old forty is the prime of life. I couldn't help loving you if you were seventy!  -Joe
 (Reading too many English books might make a girl start to think that if “you are not worth 1000 pounds a year,” you may never get a husband)

3. Why Sublime Innocence brings me more satisfaction than all articles I ever wrote for pay.

Jo’s eyes sparkled, for it is always pleasant to be believed in, and a friend’s praise is always better than a dozen newspaper puffs.

4. On enjoying the present

Never mind what happened just after that, for the full hearts overflowed, washing away the bitterness of the past and leaving only the sweetness of the present.

5. The boys we love(d)

Being only a glorious human boy of course he frolicked and flirted, grew dandified, aquatic, sentimental or gymnastic, as college fashions ordained, hazed and was hazed, talked slang and more than once came perilously near suspension and expulsion.

6. The men that intrigue us

He had a great appetite, and shoveled in his dinner in a manner which would have horrified ‘her ladyship’. I didn’t mind, for I like to see folks eat with a relish as Hannah says, and the poor man must have a needed a deal of food after teaching idiots all day.

7. On love

It is so beautiful to be loved as Laurie loves me. He is sentimental, doesn’t say much about it, but I see and feel in all he says and does, and makes me so happy and so humble and I don’t seem to be the same girl I was. I never knew how good and generous and tender e was until now, for he lets me read his heart, and I find it full of noble impulses and hopes and purposes, and I am so proud to know it.-Amy

8. Accidentally in love

 Jo’s was nearly ready for the bag(her heart)

Not a boy’s impatient shake, but a man’s hand reached up to pick it, gently from the burr, and find the kernel sound and sweet. If she suspected this, she would have shut up tight, and been more prickly than ever, fortunately she wasn’t thinking about herself, so when the time came, down she dropped.

(this passage reminded me of what Rhett Butler said to Scarlet, in Gone with the wind. “You need to be kissed, not by the unsure groping of a boy or the lackluster kisses of an old man…….”  something like that, not verbatim but the idea is the same, Jo, needed someone full grown in  their emotions to be able to help her discover her own.)

9. That awkward age

I’m NOT! And if turning up my hair makes me one (a young lady), I will wear it in two tails till I’m twenty,’ Cried Jo, pulling off her net, and shaking down a chestnut mane. ‘I hate to think I’ve got to grow up and be Miss March, and wear long gowns, and look as prim as China Aster! It’s bad enough to be a girl, anyway, when I like boy’s games and work and manners!  I can’t get over my disappointment in not being a boy…..and  I can only stay home and knit lie a poky old woman!’

10. Being frustrated doesn’t stop you from doing the things you gotta do.

And she knitted like an old maid. (Next time you see me I will have finished one stanza of my Kiondo, the one I will start weaving when feeling frustrated.)

11. On Hard work

“Yes, I wanted you to see how the comfort of all depends on each doing her share faithfully…

Take up your little burdens again, for though they seem heavy to sometimes, they are good for us, and lighten as we learn to carry them. Work is wholesome, and there is plenty for everyone. It keeps us from ennui and mischief, is good for health and spirits, and gives us a sense of power and independence better than money and fashions.-Marmee

12. On being imperfect and why we won’t all go to heaven

It is highly virtuous to say we’ll be good, but we can’t do it all at once, and it takes a long pull, a strong pull and a pull all together before some of us even get our feet set in the right way.

13. Why we all need a break at times, and why Jos need a superhero by their side

But you see, Jo wasn’t a heroine, she was only a struggling human girl like hundreds of others.

14. What a woman’s age defines

“You may be a little older in years, but I am ever so much older in feeling, Teddy. Women always are, and this last year has been a hard one that I feel forty.

15. On Talent

There is not much danger that real talent or goodness will be overlooked long, even if it is, the consciousness of possessing and using it well should satisfy one, and the great charm of all power is modesty.

My cute bookmark

Little women has been a great experience. I should have read it when I was 10. But oh well, I’ll pretend I am 15 and starting over.

Jo was my favorite character, she was a writer and her impetuosity is something I can relate to. Now I need another book to keep me from reading Mark Manson And Wanja Kavengi until 2a.m and sleepwalking the next day.

thic chic- 5 girls you will meet and enjoy spending time with.

Marjorie

You have seen her. The most enterprenuering human being you will come across.
 She will have an online business, a printing  shop and will be supplying beauty products from Dubai. She will also make liquid soap and supply to all her contacts. If she has a job she works  very hard at it. On the weekends she will be with her  girlfriends  eating nyama choma in Kitengela.

She knows how  to get  money, If  she has a husband, he will  be very obedient. He brings home a ward of cash for her to manage  every Friday .

Marjorie is very generous to her friends, spoils her kids but they are  very well disciplined in spite of that. They know you don’t play games with  mommy.

Though busy and scuttling about like  the duck she is, she never leaves  the house  without lipstick and eyeliner. She will put some on you too and make you wear  that clingy dress  you don’t like but which she says brings our your thin waist. She can pull off white pedal pushers and tie a saree in minutes. She makes a great pilau, mahamri and soft chapatti in two hours and will hardly ever require a house girl. This girl will have a good, stable name like Margret or Veronicah.

Dude

Don’t mistake her. She is in every way a girl. But she walks like a boy, talks like a boy and has a job in networking.

She will mostly wear angular specs and own exactly two pairs of closed shoes from Bata. She  loves her job  and does it so well she will most definitely have another expensive hobby like skiing if in the tropics, or surfing if she lives in the mountains. She is easy going, doesn’t talk too much in a crowd, and walks with a bounce and is happy in overalls.

She has a best friend who totally gets her. They are opposites and you will wonder how two close friends  can be so different.

The Man

Heh,um, this one I’m still studying. She is not exactly Semenya but she has a manly approach to things. 

Tall girl, always. She shops at Nairobi Sports Centre and prefers Polo Shirts and Mens jeans. She is build heavily and even goes to the gym to maintain  it. She only eats meat and Ugali, and half a loaf in the morning. You won’t find her snacking on crisps, bring her a litre of yogurt and stop wasting her time. 

She will have very  feminine ways. She will know the  right  dress to buy  her mother, when called upon to make feminine dishes like vegetable rice ad fish curry she won’t disappoint and you will have  enough  food to feed the entire clan. She will also be religious and belong to several women and community groups, so she is well known  and respected in the community. She will even find time to be a community health volunteer  and attend a training about how to make your own banana flour at home.

Avril Lavigne

Avril Lavigne is a good girl  to have as a friend  especially  if you are dating  and  haven’t got a clue  what  to do with yourself. She knows  which cologne  says, I’m a classic  man and not  just landed from Hargesia. She knows  which tie  goes with  what shirt and has  sound advice for anyone including her mother. Her clothes are always in place, her hair too, but at times she is nervous about her dressing and the styles she choses to wear.

Her top three friends  will be guys. She will go out with someone her boys hate so it won’t last, coz their opinion matters more than we are letting on.  Then she eventually marries Tom, and the guys don't mind him and Tom doesn't mind all the chest thumping his wife gets when her boys come around, coz just how it is, status quo and he is the newcomer anyhow.

If you are her friend, you will be smothered with patience, she doesn't try to change you, she also doesn't mind your bad moods, she justs sits beside you and says nothing. Then you feel bad for being such  hyena.  But she is not the girl to go for girl talk, she doesn’t know how. She is a woman of action not emotion and even though she seems outgoing, she hardly says much. But she will be right there in the middle of the conversation interjecting with- no kidding!! say whaat! No way!

Baby Locks

 

She will wear shaggy locks, shave her hair bald, dye her hair green, wear rasta colors and play foot ball.

 You will be shocked when you find out her real name since she will only use her nickname. Barbie, Missy, Shiz.  But her real name will be Cynthia, Hannah or Patricia. She will either be taller  than every other girl , or the shortest, never of average height. 

You will think she only listens to roots  and reggae but will be surprised to find out her best boys band is Westlife. Yea, not even Backstreet Boys, Westlife.

She wears shorts and tight tube tops but guys don’t whistle. They dared, once, and she gave  them a word symphony they are not near to forget.

Baby Locks is fascinating in the fact that she will never really have a job, instead she will have gigs. 

She might belong to a football club, and travel the world and in one of the trips  she will meet another footballer and they will get married and have three kids. Roy, Bonnie and Cherrie

The difference between don’t worry and stop worrying, is the difference between sympathy and empathy.

“Tiga Kũmaka. “ I heard my brain telling me as I headed out to go do a most daunting task.

-and now we are taking you to Zebra Centre, here you shall be able to see the last three surviving white zebras in the world. Keep in mind, they are kept under lock and key…….

I was sure I would scramble my head proper but the voice telling me, “leave off worrying” reassured me.

Then I fell sick. Each time I fall sick, I am in denial for about three days, drinking concoctions and forcing myself to rest and hoping it goes away. Like the average Kenyan, I don’t trust hospitals.

 I once was transcribing a research interview and some questions went this way:

Interviewer: Do you go for an annual overall check?

Respondent: (silence)

Interviewer: Do you go into the hospital when you are not sick just to get checked?

Respondent: Why?

Interviewer: When do you go to the hospital to see a doctor?

Respondent: (mwambie labda nipilekwe nikiwa mahututi)

Interpreter: He says, when he is unconscious.

So Day three I realized, oh my goodness this must be the big one, the one that carries me off to my final resting house and I’m gonna just go lay down in Lang’ata while people continue to eat cheese and drink red wine. 

Man, it’s almost midnight but I need a doctor.

And my two friends arrived in less than ten minutes.

Many times on my way home, the song- don’t worry be happy- will be playing in the matatu but I get home and my worries arrive at the same time. 

We like to throw the phrase- ndũkamake, or don’t worry – at people. Don’t worry, you will find another job, or don’t worry,the rain will eventually stop. Since Nairobians fear rain more than acid attacks, you’d think the rain was acidic. Though it’s not a great idea to walk in the rain-look where it got me.

But, it’s until someone tells you- Tiga Kũmaka, leave off worrying- that you actually stop.

 If someone tells you stop worrying, they redirect your attention to something else, leave off your worrying and re-organise you head, or look out of the window.

One person will find you trying to balance a suitcase on your head and two Nakumatt bags on both your hands and will smile and tell you,

“ if you need anything, just tell me ok?”

Like you’d ever.

Another will take the two bags from you and walk slowly with you the 500 metres to the bus stop, and they will have saved your life. You will wave at them the next time you pass by dressed up in heels and a glittery handbag and their friends will elbow them for knowing someone shinny.

So automatically, when I became  nerve wrecked, what came to mind is what granny would say- Gathoni, TigaKũmaka, kau nĩ kaũndũ kanini, natũtigatenderie ndeto mũno- and I stopped worrying.

But If she said don’t worry about it, it meant she didn’t take my problem seriously.

I find a lot of empathy in deaf  culture. We are one community, one tribe. If  a member of the tribe is unwell, then  we buzz around them until they are back on their feet.

So  at 1a.m, as I listened to the two souls trying to make sense of my kitchen turned jungle, I realised it’s not where you are but who you are with that makes people run to the doctor, just so you can spend a few more days with such good fellows.

wild roses are the best

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Empathy and Sympathy