Socializing the introvert- Claustrophobia

I have always loved small spaces, like John from Ally Macbeal, I need a hole where I can crawl in to get away from the rest of the world.

When my little cousins came to live with us, I looked for a bed sheet and draped it across the room to separate-MY side from HER side. In high school; my aunt, her child and nanny moved into the same bedroom. To me, I had been kicked out, there was no room for me.

Uncle cleaned out a store room and said we might use it as an extra room. I found a mattress and relocated right away, but he said the room could fit two beds. I put a padlock at the door.

Mean, right?

And selfish too

But I can explain.

I need space and not in the true sense of the word. I could be in a big room with only one other person but it still feels crowded, especially if the other person loves the sound of his voice.

When there is two of us in a room, this is how the space is shared out.

And I cannot write, think or pray when other people or other person is too close.

I will

Either have to leave the room

Start talking non-stop

Walk about doing nothing in particular, just collecting lint from the atmosphere

Or sit cross legged and read a single page for two hours

The discomfiture of seeing boundary lines puts me right in a tense mood

But I realise I might be claustrophobic and this can happen anywhere.

A few years back I was living near a bunch of people who needed people about them for them to think. They would be very offended that I turned down yet another cook- out that week.

We later became inseparable but there was always the question they could not get round, ‘why did I like to be so lonely?’ and made efforts to have my house warmed by guests at every opportunity, and I resented it and became quite cold towards them.

Many times I could have burrowed into the floor for privacy.

I would not have minded another two cats or five, but people around meant

I had to be on all the time.

On deeper thought, it might be genetic. My mother is happy in her own company. While uncle spend, 95% of his waking hours , I mean 97%.

He spends it inside the napier grass plantation and only comes out when the moorland is clear.

Granny, on the other hand loved crowds before ALZ hit. She was a public speaker and a good percentage of the families take after her. There might be a psychological explanation to this.

I’ll know some day

Meanwhile, I try to go against this by inviting people to hang out with me against my inner will.

It turns out well most of the time.

I get soaking with people-talk and have little time to think. How did I do? How did it go. One of my mother’s sisters understood me and kept me supplied with newspapers, magazines and reader’s digests and told people to leave me alone. But she died.

So really, these are my first steps at human interaction. I’ll get there.

(ONLY one sketch belongs to me. the rest are borrowed thank you very much)

Alzheimer's Patient Priorities

When a family member has Alzheimer’s disease in Kenya; often times it seems as though a bomb as been dropped into the family to scatter everyone. People vanish. And only the very strong ones; and those that have no choice, who tiptoe back to view how matters stand.

Truth is, if the person with Alzheimer’s is the family pillar; which is often the case(mothers, fathers, grandparents, older siblings), woe to the bystanders. Those that used to receive command from this one stand listlessly waiting for direction on what next.

Those that have their wits about them and have more heart than all of us cowards; stagger at the new responsibility of finding out just how different, how difficult the foreseeable future seems to be.

How not to Reel Over

Remember you are not the first to ever give care to an ALZ patient. So listed are a few pointers gleaned from the ALZKenya.org support group meeting, to help you find balance in your new capacity as the care giver.

1. Pray

Psalms 18:6.Ask for help from the one that understands stuff which no one else can. He will give you wisdom which will prove to be an asset in the coming days.

2. Involve other concerned members who genuinely want to assist.

Call that meeting, don’t postpone it. But you will need to be firm; unless you like to put up with rubbish without going insane. Suggestions are welcome but interference in your care methods are a no no. Are they ready to take over? No? Then may they kindly SHUT UP and let you do your job.

3. Get a backbone (borrow, lease, buy, or make one out of lead).

You will be with the patient every day, they will tell tales and prefer some family members despite you constant care. You know how much; emotionally, financially is required every day. A backbone will also be also useful when dealing with friends who will think:

• Your family member is bewitched
• Has lost their mind
• Meddled with someone’s property and now facing consequences.

If they have nothing positive to say, don’t be afraid to hurt their feelings by explaining how unnecessary their visits are.

4. Spare your money.

You will need to stretch your money longer. Find an accountant to value the patient’s property and help you budget. Avoid impromptu buys or treatment expenditures. Constant cash will be required for cleaning detergent, helpers, proper diet, transport and drugs.

5. Get a caretaker.

There is comfort in knowing your are doing your sick family member service by being their sole caretaker, but you need help. You need breaks and rests and get-a ways. A trained caretaker will even do a better job than you could accomplish with all your other responsibilities.

6. Open your heart wide and love your dear one.

They will thank you in their own way. In spite of downtime, you will get the satisfaction of doing all you can, and you will know you have their confidence by the trust and value they will show towards you.

Nobody said it was easy

No one ever said it would be this hard

Alzheimer’s in Kenya- why you should join a support group

Alzheimer’s is not well known in Kenya despite the greater majority of our parents going down with it each day.

Our grandmother has it, and it’s been quite a load.

I wanted to gather recent information to share with my uncle and his wife, who are her primary caretakers. And I came across ALZkenya.org. They invited me for one of their support group meetings and what a meeting it turned out to be.

Why you should join a support group

Like in other issues:

• Emotional release: It helps to talk about issues you are facing.
• Empathy: It is a relief to listen to others talk about similar experiences.
• Information Pool: You can access contact information for clinicians that deal with ALZ.
• Training: You can access training to enable you be a better caretaker.

You will not find a textbook with the title: How to act when a family member has Alzheimer’s in Kenya- for dummies.

And many times you will be plagued with things that you may be doing wrong. Which you will find, it is really not your fault.

We are all dummies in this and lack of clear, open and accessible information about Alzheimer’s in Kenya is the cause. Many are just trying and erroing(sic), injuring themselves, the sick family member and all around in the process.

No one is to be blamed. Not serikali, not God, not yourself, not your other family members who suddenly started to behave funny. Reason is, ALZ is like a time bomb ticking faster than a clock, it is also the most confusing disease yet to be discussed.

One day things seem to be just fine, the next you can’t explain what happened or what is to be done.

Is it to get another doctor?

Or call the family together?

Or crawling under the bed to bowl like a five year old?

There is a way to fix this and it is only by getting as much knowledge about the disease as there is.

You will know everything from how to talk to a patient to how not to change the setting and plot (patient’s familiar surroundings.). That will be the theme for the next article.

(all pictures googled)

What do Content Writers Do?

Every Organization that wants to survive this century relies on brand popularity to know if it’s a success, or a failed venture.

In order to stay above the current, an organization needs to be in touch with its target audience. This here is the digital information era and new as well as long established set ups are becoming dependent on the internet to market, sell and rely information.

Content writers play the role of attracting people to view data on the organization’s site.

Even so, ours is a digital multitasking age, and the faulted belief that web content can be provided by anybody in the organization has carried weight.

The reason:

‘He’s been with us since we started, what can’t he do?’  Wrong.

Content has to be presented in a certain way.

Information for a web page is very different from information that appears on the company’s annual newsletter. Who has the time to scroll and scroll 5,000 words down?

Web content is like a marketing campaign.

Less words, more visual.

There is a way to write web content. I don’t mean just good grammar and punctuation; that is quite obvious.

There are keywords which make an article  up easily on search engines.

Content writers know how to construct sensible phrases that hook search engines right away.

So what do content writers do?

1. They combine text and visuals to create short, fun articles for the web.

2. They optimize articles by use of key words to ensure they are visible online.

(images googled)

Happily working online in Kenya

Just admit it, the internet is the new ruler of this era. And it is now very easy to get online work in Kenya

Why such a bold statement?

I have been under its rulership for over a decade; and it has been a happy one. In fact, 75% of my income comes from the relationship I have with the internet. In business, and in writing

Do not ignore the red blinking banners.

It’s a deep sea; this Internet. Ignore the guidelines and you will end up in the alimentary canal of a big WWWF (worldwideweb fish).

Before you take out your gadgets and start coming up with passwords for that online work website that popped onto your social media page, take time to learn what working online is all about.

It is one area where someone somewhere will always know better than you do.

And some of these want to make a quick shilling out of someone elses’ eye torture.

Where can I learn this stuff?

To learn about working online in Kenya; get onto the internet and search

Working online in Kenya, or Working at home in Kenya, online jobs in Kenya, Writing jobs in Kenya. Then read what others have to say. 

Read blogs and websites about writing. The reason for this is that there are many ways to do the same thing and the more viewpoints you can collect the better.

My favorite site about online writing in Kenya is http://freelancerkenya.com. The administrator, Walter is great with tips.

Why are no jobs coming my way?

It happens, all the time.

Writing online depends on, bidii ya mtu (your own efforts).

Don’t sit at your computer chatting away and expect that friend that has been on this job for long will send you alerts. Get onto the writing sites, sign up, bid for jobs, go through those writing tests, and constantly enquire about jobs on writing sites. Kuhustle proper.

How to be happy writing online in Kenya.

! Do your research thoroughly.

! Don’t trust everyone online (si unajua tu).

! Hard work, for high achievement and eventual happiness (Our Primary school Motto).

! Work Online. It’s cool.

picture borrowed from tnooz (http://www.tnooz.com)

Milky dairy mumblings

‘Kaĩ wahanire atĩa?’ (what became of you)She asks after giving me a look over.

“ To mũtũrĩre kũnyamaria.”(it’s just, life dragging me by the ears) I manage to find a mild rejoinder but feel quite hot with adrenaline.

 I’m restraining myself from the usual biting sarcasm. I pull my hat around my ears some more and smile.

“Habari ya Nairobi?”(how is Nairobi) I grin at her.

“Aaa, wacha tu, Nairobi ndiyo mambo yote. Hata siwezi kaa gicagi, naenda next week.” 

(Nairobi is the place to be, I cannot stay in the village, I’ll be gone next week).

She must be recently turned 18. I knew her as the little brown chubby girl that always wore a mbocori.16, 15 years ago.

This is a mbocori on the left: it covers head, ears and part of the mouth,it is an essential in the highlands

Three months ago, I came to the village. And was immediately acquainted with her, for we often met at the  dairy. She was accompanying their farm-hand, carrying the dairy board.

 And I was balancing eight litres on each hand, with the dairy board tucked into my back pocket, along with a book.

milky business

tools of the trade. The dairy board is in my armpit.

 There was not much company as my age mates had transferred to Nairobi, Mombasa and U.A.E on turning 18.

 The others married other school mates and now raising teenagers. And I, a woman of twenty five  preferring to spend my time in the farm while I could be....

 I could be anywhere. But I choose to be here.

 I must look quite; well, quite. To anyone that thinks a lot about fashion.

 I’m wearing the same pair of jeans I wore, 12 or 10 years ago. Gumboots, a knitted sweater and a dark green jacket. 

The other day the vet found me grazing and asked,

“ĩĩ Kĩhũni, nĩ ngombe ĩrĩkũ ndĩretagĩrwo?”(young man, which cow is the matter)

 I don’t look any different from those farm men sitting on the wet grass smoking rolled tobacco. A  misty afternoon, with fog covering the country all around. Visibility reduced to two hundred yards.

 The girl is talking about her college.

 I don’t mean to deny her an audience, it’s just her remark, it has given rise to my vanities. Uncle said the other day,

“You would rather walk  barefooted, amazing, your mother would never venture out of bed without  some sort of slippers or shoes.”

And a visiting neighbour said:

“Gathoni nĩehaana,” (She is an original.)

I feel like, by being me, doing what I like, I am often raising eye brows.

Well educated. Fashionably dressed.

 Combed, straight hair

 Delicate featured

No

I'd rather gain wisdom and experience

Dress for comfort

De-tangled, curls

And be equal to every effort.

The land-cruiser arrives and weighs our milk.

"Na muuge kwĩ na mbeca cia iria,"(it's pay day) the driver shouts, driving off.

How to be Three and 10 without loosing it- A dozen Tips

2. Shhhh

Your housemate believes in fate and won't even set her alarm. 'Because you wake up at God's own time.'
Give a giggle when she tells you she got to work at 10.00am. It is almost impossible to change another human without arguing.
You have opinions? Keep them to yourself. You will have better peace.


3. Sacrifice Sacrifice Sacrifice!
You want to eat healthy? Cook a full meal with proteins, carbohydrates, vitamins just like they taught you in home-science class.

And that means getting off Facebook, walking to the market, or supermarket to get all these things together, cheaply. This also goes to having a neat house, a clean yard, clean clothes. Not much self improvement comes as a result of staring at your iPad for five hours.

4. Be on top of things
 When stuff goes awry; don't panic, don't get angry. Don't blame anybody.
 Be a storm inside but serenity on the outside, the inside will catch up too.
 So your guests don't eat read meat and pepper?

 Those tinned sardines you keep better come out of the cabinet this minute.

5. Dress up and show up
I've realised that whenever I make the effort, and put on  slight make up; even the matatu conductors are not hesitant to give me back my change.

look the part

Your head is splitting from a cold and you have a meeting at 9.00a.m?
Dress up, show up. You never know, they might end getting you a cup of hot lemon with honey.

6. Respect your friends

There is a reason they've been putting up with all this long- could it be, they love you? Trust you? Yes they do.
Respect them. Don't treat them like trash, call them, listen to them . The rest are

mũingĩ wa Gathagu

Maintain quality friendships. The same goes for clothes, shoes and household utensils. Get rid of everything rubbish.

7. Love objectively.

I used to think- what do I get out of this relationship? I'm learning to think- what can I give to make this last? My grandmother can no longer give me succinct advice, but she can tell me about her father who had many many goats. And that is enough to sustain a relationship. Loving objectively is teaching me to respect her feelings, even though hearing this same story for the fifth time today.

8. Keep Learning

This year, I took it upon myself, though with very slow progress; to Interior Decorate, the inside me.
 How to be slow tempered
 How to be forgiving
 How to be giving
 How to not give in to poop thoughts.


9. Rest

My dear, late nights are no longer part of life at three and 10 and beyond. It will show in the morning, in your eyes, and skin.

nights are for sleeping, day-times too

Watching a series is not rest. Put on something loose, brush you teeth, keep away the phone and get into bed. Sleep.

10. On love: Don't be jealous.


So he was speaking to her for a quarter of an hour longer? Get a life. Get on pintrest and read about ice fishing. Practice the lyrics to that song you've been practicing. You are not attached to his hip.

Jealousy shows, and all it does is make you very stooopid. I know.

11.Budget

Budget your time, your cash, your emotions. Know how much you can spend on a certain activity, purchase, person. Otherwise utapangwa (you will be budgeted).

12.Get proper medication

Your body is not what it used to be. Avoid self medication at all costs, unless you are a GP, and I doubt they also self diagnose. If you delay proper treatment, you only end up getting worse, wasting time and spending more more at the hospital.
My friend keeps essentials in the house though: Pain killers and sleeping pills.

Three and 10 is a rather, comfortable age to be , ukitulia (if you take it easy). You don't have the hot blood you had at 22. You are not set in your ways like you will be at 45.

You can be sensible, lovely, even cute, all rolled up into one. Don't be surprised if they think you are 25, just don't act it.
I'm still learning. And not thinking too much of it.