My history and upbringing sways my current life. I spent a lot of time alone as a child. And the three of us, how did we cope? How did we ever?
Grandma ensured there was food and tea in the house, and uncle ensured I remained in a controlled environment most of the time.
Meaning, the three gates were kept latched, the farm chemicals were on a high shelf, and if he would be too long he took me along to fence.
Mother supplied a steady flow of story books and candy. So in my own world I was not even sure what was real and what was made up for a long time and since questions were not well entertained, I made my own conclusions.
I had gone through the book of Matthew and read a great deal of the gospels by age 8.
I said to my grandmother one day that we should build our house on a rock. And the newly married neighbour who was visiting asked if the child was alright.
Low human interaction made me more introverted than I was meant to be, but not a recluse. I soon discovered writing. I spent much time in my mind, so when I spoke they either didn't hear me, or didn't understand what I was all about.
But there was aunt Beth.
I asked her one day, we were eating barely ripe plums off a tree.
"Tata Beth, if I was never born, would another me be standing here now?"
She thought about it for a moment and said.
'I also sometimes wonder the same Soni,' she always calls me Soni, or Son.'I wonder would the other person be called Beth?'
We silently mused about it for a few minutes, and that was the first deep human connection I ever had.
Grandma ensured there was food and tea in the house, and uncle ensured I remained in a controlled environment most of the time.
Meaning, the three gates were kept latched, the farm chemicals were on a high shelf, and if he would be too long he took me along to fence.
Mother supplied a steady flow of story books and candy. So in my own world I was not even sure what was real and what was made up for a long time and since questions were not well entertained, I made my own conclusions.
I had gone through the book of Matthew and read a great deal of the gospels by age 8.
I said to my grandmother one day that we should build our house on a rock. And the newly married neighbour who was visiting asked if the child was alright.
Low human interaction made me more introverted than I was meant to be, but not a recluse. I soon discovered writing. I spent much time in my mind, so when I spoke they either didn't hear me, or didn't understand what I was all about.
But there was aunt Beth.
I asked her one day, we were eating barely ripe plums off a tree.
"Tata Beth, if I was never born, would another me be standing here now?"
She thought about it for a moment and said.
 |
| picture from askmissa |
We silently mused about it for a few minutes, and that was the first deep human connection I ever had.
No comments:
Post a Comment