Aaaai Mwarī wa Nyawīra onawakorwo nī kūhara mūndū nīoigaga andū magoka na karori’
He says the next time you go home you will have to ask for directions.
‘Ugage kwanyu kwarī hakuhī na gwa cibū, na kwarī na mabati Maaī redi.’
You tell him you will go home when you organize your affairs.
He tells you, ‘onokorwo mūtikīrīaga krismasi Easter
Īkīrī na ūūru ūrīkū?
‘Aca tiūguo mama,’
‘Na nīkīī? Nīkīī gīkūgiria ūūke? Jesu akuīte na akariūka kaī arī ūndū mūhūthū we ndūhaie ūke tūrīe gatūrume.’
You tell him you will see.
It’s not as if you have been away from home for a long time. It’s just the Kenyan way of saying we need to see you.
‘Aria aria na tataguo’
You aunt tells you she has joined a group and they are getting unga, but you have to register three people.
‘And if the three people also register other three people, you will get half a bundle of Unga, mūgathiī ūguo kinya no ūheo mbūri. The more people you bring, the more things you get.’
‘ So it’s a pyramid scheme.’
‘ Nīguo ītagwo?’
‘Yes, like the people who sell you Aloe Vera juice.’
‘Ooo ibūyū ici cia gīthukurūi tūkorogwa nacio ciheanagwo na pyramid scheme ici?’
You tell her yes, but reassure her that her pyramid scheme seems legit because right now food is pricey so they have a good selling point.
‘ But people are saying nī cia masonīki.’
I laugh and she goes on.
‘Lakini mimi ata zikue za devil worshipper ni sawa tu bora nimekula unga. Korwo ūrī gūkū ngūgaīre.’
‘It seems reasonable’
‘ I was there today, twathiī twahūyūka mathaa meeri twainūka.’
‘Wueh, these days you have to find a way to release stress.’
‘A, īni, angīkorwo ūraikara ūkaigua ndūrī ūndū ūrenda rī, na kinya mūndū akwararīria ūkarakara .’
‘icio akīrī stress. Ata mimi hakuna kitu nataka ata chakula Nakula tu juu lazima mtu akule.’
‘Ona ithuī gūkū no ūguo, kūgagaya.’
‘But we have to keep looking for ways to remain sane, at least one thing to help us get on to the next day.’
‘Nī ma, ūraikara ūguo ūkaiguo kīūndū kīahanīka.’
You ask if she remembers how Shushu was once in a pyramid scheme.
‘She was?’
‘ You remember when she used to make kombucha? Alafu andū makianjia kuuga atī makunū mau nī ma masoneki, atī makūragio rungu rwa iria .’
‘And the mushrooms had to be burned to prove that they could burn.’
She remembers;
‘ Rīu Shushu angīrī mirionea. Aberdare slopes Kombucha.’
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