How are we?

 How is everybody doing?

How are the young 21, 22,25 year olds coping with the sudden deaths of their friends, peers, brothers, sisters, cousins,,, 

How are the parents, spending hours waiting to identify bodies at the morgue doing?

Doctors, isn't there a better way to identify a corpse? I am not very smart but, doesn't DNA testing work?

Are we doing okay?

 How is our mental health?

How are we feeling emotionally?

Have we cried?

Have you talked to someone?

Do you need a hug?

As I shift from twitter, to Tiktok, to Aljazeera, to scanning whatsapp status to try and guess, what's gonna happen?

We have seen uncensored shootings, and body parts sprawled on the street.

 Blood.

 Lots of blood.

 Blood stained pavements,

 and now, I jump, whenever I see a gunia by the road side.

Gunia ni za mizigo, sio za maiti.

Is this how people in parts of South Sudan, Ukraine and Congo have felt?

What if I become a refugee?

 What if I am abducted,

 Mistaken identity.

Fear grips me.

And as I CONSTANTLY battle neutrality against radicalisation, I find myself, on an active paralysis state.

Breath

Exhale.

How is everybody doing?

Since I turned 15, I have experienced death of someone I have know closely as often as every year. My best friend died when I was in form two, her brother had died the year before, and she had lost her mum the year before that, we would talk about it, and when she died, I cannot describe the pain. I would have wanted to tell, her, hey, imagine my best friend has died.

Since then I have buried family members, friends and acquintances, and you would think I would have got enough experience by now. No, I haven't. Every death brings fresh grief. 

So my heart is crying for those who have watched brains fly from the heads of their comrades, for those who have to look through rotting flesh to see if these teeth belong to my sister.