Older women don't owe us a dime.
I understood this fact this year, at 41. I confess that in the past relied on my older friends, aunts and women acquintances for advice and even comfort.
Sometimes, I just acted mumu and let the older women in the family take care of things. But most of them have passed on and we, their children are now they adults and I don't feel like I can be relied on.
Not that I won't chip in and assist when required, but not in the way I have observed the younger generation desiring to.
Again, I admit that I am guilty of leaning heavily on an older friend in the past, like the time I was renting a room in an older woman's flat. She was 45, I was 22 and without a written code, I somehow expected her to do the cooking, or decide what products we needed for cleaning up. Like she was my mother or something.
Not that we should lean in heavily on our mothers, no. They need our support, especially when we are young and strong and can earn an income.
I don't mean just financially, but the expectations that we have.
For example, and have experienced this. Maybe you have a party, and you need a big pot to cook your pilau in, and since you are 29 and haven't really stocked your kitchen, you think, ah let me call Cecilia, she will lend me hers. And you do that the next time you need a hammer, or a big white sheet you call too.
Nothing wrong with that at all. Just that in all these instances, Cecilia has never been a guest in your house. You have been to her house several times for parties and tea and just dropping by but she doesn't even know which gate belongs to you.
Aje sasa?
No comments:
Post a Comment