This is how it begins. A test to know if I can update my blog using my phone.
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
Monday, November 10, 2014
Why people block emails, why others change phone numbers
It
could be the unwritten blogs
The
unfinished poetry,
The
pieces of cloth cut but never made
The
table mat, skirt or wall hanging.
Or
it could be the worry about my aging relative
Who
will no longer give me advice like-
How
I should respect my aunties for my own good-
Or
it could be the realization that haiya,
I’ve
accomplished quite a number of things like
defining
clear priorities and sticking to them
Like
looking at possibilities and having intuition “tell me”
This
is not a worthwhile pursuit
And
it turns out not to be.
The
knowledge that apologies don’t take
An
inch off you
And
cutting links with certain company is actually good for the
Mind.
That
emotional abuse is real
And
one does not have to put up with it.
That
veggies are very Important,
Clean
fresh water to drink
And
that sometimes
the
top is an inverted pyramid.
Sunday, October 26, 2014
throwing out my efforts at extrovertism to the dogs
One day in the days of my teenage hood, my cousin and I were
walking to an aunt’s house. So he turns to me and says
- I’m ready to have a good time, but your problem is the minute we reach the party you will want to go back home. Seriously Gathoni, you are difficult, and we now sometimes you don’t even want to see any of us-
- I’m ready to have a good time, but your problem is the minute we reach the party you will want to go back home. Seriously Gathoni, you are difficult, and we now sometimes you don’t even want to see any of us-
I may have given a grunt, or a giggle, I don’t remember. But
I was always hearing how I should not isolate myself. I would jump at the option to take the cows
out to graze; cows don’t ask questions like why are you bored, or smiling to
yourself.
I can’t count the many times I have opted out of a party, and
the many times I have not been asked co they knew I would say, 'no thanks.'
There are two that I have never been forgiven for missing. 1996,
my mum goes out and fixes me with a socialite aunt for a party. I dressed up
and went to the aunt’s house; my cousins were dropping names of the guest list,
and I was in terror and horror- an evening party? With no time limit? I don’t
remember how I escaped but I remember spending the day with a shop keeping
aunt, and getting a serious telling off from my mother.
The other was after college, 2010; there was a goodbye
dinner, and I had a self imposed deadline to hand in a novel manuscript that
Friday. I was gonna go but my laptop, I suppose form overwork, froze.
‘she said something about finishing some work’
Many times, I plan to go out for something but then it hits
me:
1. I
went out yesterday
2. I
would like some silence
3. I don’t have the energy for small talk.
And the usual questions
"Rain got you yesterday?" 'No'
"You are feeling sick?" 'No'
"Are you on your period?" 'No'
"You just want and rest eh?" 'Um ..Yeah.'
I want to explain, I am feeling alright, and the minute you
go out I will sing along to Green Day. I am not annoyed and don’t hate
any of you, I’m not lonely, I am not silently judging you and if you
don’t ask me to a cook out, I don’t mind. I can only handle that kind
excitement once, every two weeks. I won’t be resting anyway, I will re-arrange
my furniture and synchronize my spice bottles by lid color and start another
sewing project.
In trying the right words, gestures and facial expressions
to improve my social networks, I stumble upon -27 problems only Introverts will understand- So happy to understand
there are other living humans who find unplanned phone calls mentally
traumatizing- honestly if you are planning to call, text me, let me know you will call, and what you plan to talk
about. That way I can organize my head and not sound like an impatient telephone
operator. I cannot solve problems on my
feet. I admit.
And just because I enjoy listening more than talking does not
make me an eejit.
I remember someone
asking me- Don’t you have anything to say? Cc, honestly love, you never get a
word edgewise. I bet I should have explained I got more out of social
Interaction my listening.
And maybe if I had responses, I would have to write them all
down-tomorrow-after- thinking, coz that’s
what we do. We think to talk. And
for that, extroverts brand as slow.
One time, someone said
to me, ũguo nĩguo mũndũ aritaga (you get foolish by staring blankly into space)
We are dreamers, that’s how we get things done. If I had not
dreamt in my younger life, about 90% of the things I have experienced would still
be undone. Come of think of it, I practically built up every event in
my head.
I feel like I have been handed a fresh new notebook,
not that I would join an introverts’ support group
-hello, my name is Gathoni, and I am an introvert… Cringe
-hello, my name is Gathoni, and I am an introvert… Cringe
No, we would rather be reading the dictionary.
I don’t have to try
to be extroverted to fit in. And that is Ok.
Saturday, October 18, 2014
not open to agreement on Jonker walk, karaoke night
She sits across me and glares at me,
With a half eaten chapatti on one hand
Thick dhaal curry yellowing her other fingers.
She says- didn’t they teach you History in Africa?
- I say, Kenya.-
She says same difference.
-I’m tired of hearing it-
So I say, we have our own history, the migration,
colonization
I can’t believe your Education system
-I can’t too, I say. Chemistry, honestly. I could have done without that-
Slave trade;
she states,
paying her share of the bill, is an important piece of
history.
-And so is modern slavery, I say- my grandmother worked
coffee farms, 6years old-
What is that compared to the number that was sold ?
-She was a former chief’s daughter
She’s walking fast, back to No. 20, Jonker Walk
I’m not bothered, I walk as slowly as any long legged human
can,
and pausing by the
bridge
I think:
The only history I’m interested in is:
In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
pic(malaysiaedition.net)
In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
pic(malaysiaedition.net)
Saturday, October 11, 2014
when my props came down
I am working at home again and very
glad about it. If I had stuck to it, probably I would already have taken that trip to Jamaica, bought a car, or a scooter at
least. Over ten years ago I had the big idea
to work from home, but it turned out to be nonsense. Kenya was still catching
up on online work. It still is, but phew, like the natural hair wave surging now, I sure
hope it stays and saves me the explanations.. I remember going out and buying a
new laptop- to help me work- but I lacked the courage and patience that years have
taught me.
So when I laid out my plan, it
said I would launch on 1st October. I did and it has been
rather interesting. At this rate I should write a book for caregivers on how to
keep an aged relative occupied. My granny, after breakfast and medicine will
ask why I can’t get her a panga so she
can dig about the compound. I
will tell her why you don’t go pull out the weeds in the back yard. She’ll come
back 20 minutes later and ask exactly what I’m doing.
Why haven’t you finished.
Is it that animal (the computer)? Is it giving you trouble?
Yes, it’s slow.
She’ll then lay on the couch, and
play with the cat- the neighbor’s cat who has taken permanent residence in our
house. We have named her Filis .
Then she’ll say. You should plant
potatoes.. this land going to waste. And you should have a panga.
I go out and ask the shopkeeper
to lend me a hoe. I give it to granny. 20 minutes later, I call her in to have
gruel. She asks.. is this work too hard?
Yes it is, I say.
Yes it is, I say.
But God will give you a job one
day.
This is my job.
This question and answer goes on
until seven, or five when I’m not
writing about kinetics. I feel sorry for her, but what to do lah?
Her boredom has reached a boiling
point. She is bored to shreds. I could suggest she counts her hair.. but I’d
get a telling off. I took her to look at the train last evening. Well, trust
Rift Valley Railways to be two hours late. So we never got to see it, and the screaming
hawkers by the rail way line gave her a migraine.
Today, we
went out to scout for a panga. We we we. Kumbe she had an agenda. There
is this rosebush I love to plant, the one that grows and twirls and finally
produces tiny pink roses. I planted one two years ago. Two weeks ago, my mother
and I spent an entire morning tying it to the bathroom bars to get it away from
the door, directing it to the roof. It gives a good shade...and she says to me.
- This plant is male-
-Why?-
-It has never flowered, two years
now-
-I think maybe it has not
matured-
And few days later, a bunch of
buds sprouted just above the door to prove her wrong. Today, when I was at the
meetings, and mother was at the salon, granny gave it a rough chop at the base-whack- and I almost fainted when I came
back and saw the withering leaves.
'How can you not know Curacao? Didn't they teach you history in school?'
"Well, I know Jamaica".
'You can't be serious.'
And I made a note to myself to Google before asking an honest question like, so is Curacao a city or a country and where did the population migrate from?
That's the drift of my next blog post
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
dance dance
I’m going through that phase . You
know when you don’t have much to process in the mind so you have
the past the present and the future trying to make sense out of the
other?
If I’m alive next year around this
time, I’ll mos’ def say this- how time flies. That’s all I seem
to be saying these days.
I’m glad for one thing though,
getting older. The wisdom that comes with it? I can’t wait to be 63
because I’m sure then wisdom will have set in..I was aiming for
wisdom at my current age but I’m yet to experience it.
Never mind I’m an auntie this
year..which is pretty exciting. I already have visions of taking the
lil boy bouncing castles and swings. Or not, depends.
2012 started with a big disappointment
though. Getting stuck in the last place I wanted to be. Even after
discarding my warm clothes in favour of cottons, linens and sandals.
But great good came out of it. I can
now make conversation..and even joke in Sign Language.
And I met great… No.. spectacular
people this year..like the sarakasi deaf acrobats.
Cheered them hoarse- my uncle says
nobody needs to be taught how to dance..it’s in our system..I think
It applies here…you don’t need music to dance.
deaf acrobats
And when I saw these hanging up by ropes..I thought-what an idea. When I had a house with high roof(I can’t spell cealing, so we just go with roof for now)..I’ll have these for my guests to recline on. :D
A moment back stage
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