Conversations on dating as a broke year old.

 

He said if you haven't been on a date at Uhuru Park then you haven't seen anything.
'You have to have done an Uhuru Park date in campus at least.'
As a guy you arrive there kitu 11, unajiseti hapo facing the gate so you get to see your date coming,,,
Lakini by 12 you start to get drowsy from the breeze and the preachers.
'Unatoa viatu, unazilalisha kichwa hapo.'

"Why do you remove your shoes?"

"Coz it's hot."

'No, not because of the heat, because if you leave them on, they might get stolen.'

"Nani atakutoa viatu in public?"

'It's like this, when you are broke, you hardly ever get clothes that fit you properly. So uko hapo na Kitshirt kikubwa, very baggy trousers, you might even be wearing a shirt, an off-white shirt that fits loosely. But your shoes will never ever be your size. If you fall asleep at the park, they fall off and someone will need no force to remove them. That is why you remove them, plus your polyester jacket, and use them as a pillow. Then when the time nears for your date to arrive unapanguza panguaza macho, you wear your shoes and face the direction she is coming from. That way you see her coming in.'

"This is not just a story, you have actually done this."

'Of course, kwani? That time you don't even have money to take her to those fast food joints. Uko tu na pesa ya soda. Akifika hivi unamwagizia Softa na Mandazi.'

"Softa always had an offer."

'Yeeees, bogof. So for the price of two, you get four.'

"Na Softa kwani ilienda wapi?"

'Aahh, cartels. By the way it was started by mtu wa huko kwenu. '

"Was it also producing Babito? I remember Babito soda was popular when we were children, and there is a bus stop called Babito on our route."

'That guy bana, he was frustrated by the Moi era. He was producing, and selling but his product would not reach the market. He was interviewed recently. International soft drink companies would buy his stock and keep them in their ware houses.'

"True story?"

'Sindio. This is Kenya bana.'

"Reminds me of a  guy I met who was producing milk but he was frustrated until he scaled down to just a small shop. He sells the best yoghurt by the way."

'Ai, you cannot compete with bish fish. Watakumaliza.'

"So mnakunywa Softa yenu mos mos."

'Yes, then you take a few pictures, you do a boat ride and depending on how both of you feel at the end of the day you know umepata wife.'

CONVESATIONS BOOK REVIEW

 Conversations into Adulthood is the title of my next book.

It's a big project,a don't I have gone back and forth a lot but we are almost there.

Shida ni there is too much. I wrote too much. I know it's a good problem, but, as I launch myself into the coming 40s, I would like people to be inspired, encouraged and entertained by what I have written.

It's hard to find  the  balance.

These are some old reviews from that time I sent the prologue to my mailing list.

The chapters nangoja are actually 4 and 7.

Hmm, interesting. Those are my hardest to write. I write and then sob and then I don’t want to look at what I’ve written for a week.

Yeah it can be hard. They tend to come along with heavy emotions or memories you probably thought you had buried or dealt with but then boom!

I’m wondering, do people lecture you because of your height ama

they are just dispensing opinions?

And about the conversations I’ve been having, wueh!

I could relate to a looot of what you wrote, been lectured so many times mpaka I run away from every form of conflict, I’d rather give you the assumption that you’re right rather than have to sit and listen to another lecture and/or argument.

I truly in every sense value my peace of mind.

I’ve also been treated like some little dog of no consequence.

But like you said, once you get to know yourself, you’ll project it and conversations tend to be more meaningful. You’ll ‘demand’ respect when none is being offered or just leave, end the conversation.

I don’t know what to say but I liked how you opened up about things many wouldn’t, including myself

It was refreshing.

It's true. I've been back to school doing psychology and we are currently at Grief counseling and we were asked to get someone who is going through a loss of a dead loved one and try and counsel. So I got to talk to another sister and hearing how she feels about the baby she lost and how it's affecting her marriage and her relationship with her one baby who is alive was painful. Her baby was also able to express her grief. We did some fun activities and she doesn't understand death because she is 8 years old but she feels pain. And hearing her talk about the resurrection and I got to understand that she thinks it's gonna happen tomorrow or probably next week ikienda sana. That's how she's dealing with her pain.

This experience gave me the perspective that even kids grieve but no one pays attention to them. We just focus on the grown ups and forget that they too have lost someone. And so they grow up with either sadness or anger and withdrawal behaviour because it was never expressed.

I think she has not grasped the entire concept. She just knows there is a resurrection soon but now her understanding of soon ni something like next week. So even when she sees her parents crying, she tells them they shouldn't worry Jehovah will resurrect the baby.

But because her parents have shut her out, she has also withdrawn and is no longer the bubbly girl she used to be. Plus everyone else is comforting the parents and leaving her out.

Crash Landing on You- K-drama Review

 I love how the writer didn’t waste any moment in this drama. Every minute counts, every emotion is felt and sinks deep.

The characters are all well thought out, I mean each character holds space, there is no one, even the children casted who didn’t have a solid role.

I think all through the film I kept wondering, will we know Ri Jeong Hyeok’s real feelings? Will he really go head with marriage after all this? I loved the train scene when Yoon Seri is demanding this and that and he calmly brings everything  for her comfort. The way he went to shop for her, how he would always find her.

She on the other hand, when it was her turn to be generous did that and much more.

This film has so much heart.

From the village head who keeps getting drunk and spilling secrets, to Sergeant Pyo Chi Soo, who is such a fun character but seems to be unaware of himself ( He’s actually quite handsome )

Seung Jung’s character gets better and better as the story progresses. I loved how he proposed to Yoon Seri to help her, after her brother called and made him realise what kind of a family she had. He also was able to break Seo Dan and curve a girl out of stone into until we couldn’t bear to watch him go.

When company five  are given the Card to spend, I love the excitement they have to try different things But at the same time they do not become spendthrifts. They are like Yoon Seri and Jeong Hoek’s little siblings.

Jeong Hyeok’s mother 😭😭awww she is such an awesome woman. She can stand her own ground, she is loving and tender but at the same time a very fitting wife for someone in such a superior position.

The NIS, 😊all hot.

If this was a book I would read it, but I think this is one of the few times when the film would always be better than the book.

I’m glad it has a happy ending.

It was pulling at all my heart strings.

Thank you for this gift.

This was my first Kdrama.

This Chic: Inspiring Women

 

📺 I was really honoured to be featured on Inooro TV for the Itugi section. Itugi, when lightly translated means- columns, ama nguzo, which hold a building together 😅 . The show features women who are inspiring others .

🎬 The crew visited me at the salon, Lock Avenue, where I work as a natural hair and locks consultant. We talked about my history as a business feature writer, my journey to setting up a hair and ProMake Up Business.
I talked about my efforts to train girls and women in Natural, African Hair care. ✂
I used to train for free, then the girls would work as my assistants, but I was approched by Topsy Beauty College at the beginning of 2024 to be their in -house Locks and Make-Up Trainer. Students go through six weeks of intensive training, and four weeks of attachment, after that they receive their certificates and can either start their own business, or be placed at a High end Salon.
The interview was short and sweet, it came during the 9 o'clock news which is prime time, so I hope I inspired a good audience. 📈

The take home point was, do all you can, but don't forget your dreams and goals. 🎯
My goal was to become an author. I could not have done it if I didn't get into the Salon business. Now I am an author, but since my writing needs fire, I keep on doing other things which give me content for my stories.
I will share the link to the video as soon as they post it.

Thank you Citizen Digital.

Parallel Homesickness- A poetry collection

 Let us talk about my poetry book for 30 seconds, by reading this review I received.

If you would like a copy of the book. Get it here. 

https://nuriakenya.com/product/parallel-homesickness-by-cecilia-gathoni/

How are we?

 How is everybody doing?

How are the young 21, 22,25 year olds coping with the sudden deaths of their friends, peers, brothers, sisters, cousins,,, 

How are the parents, spending hours waiting to identify bodies at the morgue doing?

Doctors, isn't there a better way to identify a corpse? I am not very smart but, doesn't DNA testing work?

Are we doing okay?

 How is our mental health?

How are we feeling emotionally?

Have we cried?

Have you talked to someone?

Do you need a hug?

As I shift from twitter, to Tiktok, to Aljazeera, to scanning whatsapp status to try and guess, what's gonna happen?

We have seen uncensored shootings, and body parts sprawled on the street.

 Blood.

 Lots of blood.

 Blood stained pavements,

 and now, I jump, whenever I see a gunia by the road side.

Gunia ni za mizigo, sio za maiti.

Is this how people in parts of South Sudan, Ukraine and Congo have felt?

What if I become a refugee?

 What if I am abducted,

 Mistaken identity.

Fear grips me.

And as I CONSTANTLY battle neutrality against radicalisation, I find myself, on an active paralysis state.

Breath

Exhale.

How is everybody doing?

Since I turned 15, I have experienced death of someone I have know closely as often as every year. My best friend died when I was in form two, her brother had died the year before, and she had lost her mum the year before that, we would talk about it, and when she died, I cannot describe the pain. I would have wanted to tell, her, hey, imagine my best friend has died.

Since then I have buried family members, friends and acquintances, and you would think I would have got enough experience by now. No, I haven't. Every death brings fresh grief. 

So my heart is crying for those who have watched brains fly from the heads of their comrades, for those who have to look through rotting flesh to see if these teeth belong to my sister.

Efficiency, why we must learn to be.

 There are no schools that you will sign up to to learn how to be efficient.

Most will teach you a profession or a skill and it's up to you to learn how to execute the job systematically.

When I learned how to be a loctician, I observed that many were just happy to learn to do retouches, and with the use of wax- reason?- It's quick and easy.

But many are not interested in learning how to seal locks that have holes in them, how to improve the density of thinning locks, how to reattach broken locks.

There are some who can't even shampoo locks because- That's the sink person's job-

When one of the locticians in the Salon I was apprenticing at realised I was interested in making artificial locks, he gave me the right tool, and taught me step by step for a week.

Later on, I was being trained in a different locks salon and I observed how they could mend torn locks using disappearing thread, how they made instant locks through an injecting technique, and finally when I was ready they taught me how to start fresh locks, how to shampoo fresh locks, and how to apply dye on locks.

At yet another  salon I learned how to install sisterlocks and microlocks, and for four months I worked with a girl who had learned the American way of installing sisterlocks using a measuring technique.

The one thing I challenged her was, even though she could make clean and neat installations, she had no idea what to do when hair started to thin. I recognized that it was also in the way the retouch was done, which would lead to weaker locks.

My previous training with the rasta brothers now came into play.

Rasta locticians don't use combs or scissors in their retouch. It's all in the hands. 

And African hair is not for the faint hearted. I will write more about this in a different post but just to mention here, I got trained in natural hair maintenance for six months. I learned what to expect, how to handle our woollike hair, and the science behind it. But with this knowledge, I was able to know how manoeuvre around locked hair.

Hair, like everything else, must be nurtured, with hands and fingers for it to flourish.

I have seen that with my garden. Plants need to be touched and reassured.

Hair can tell when your hands care. 

That is why you hear -huyo ako na mkono wa nywele-

I used to think it was an old woman's tale until I started getting feedback from new clients.

'My hair has a growth spurt since I started coming to you.'

'I feel like my hair has started to lengthen since you started doing my reties.'

'I no longer have dandruff.'

'I didn't even know you had started, you are very gentle.

Five years ago I didn''t know I could do hair. But I approached it with an open mind, with a determination to be excellent. And if I could blow my own trumpet here, I believe I have become one of the best locticians in East Africa. Just give me award already 😁

And that is my goal- to always, always do everything  efficiently.

I keep learning and acquiring different skills, because I believe as long as we are alivewe must continue to learn.

'Whatever your hand finds to do, do with all your might, for there is no work nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom in the Grave, where you are going- Ecclesiastes 9:10