This chic: Regular conversations about regular guys

“So what kind of a guy do you like?” She asks me and I only have two seconds to decide if it’s the truth or the story.

"if he isn't wearing socks, his feet can't be that bad to look at"

‘Um,,, I used to like tall dark and handsome, now I am not sure. Wait, I like… no. I guess I need to know someone first then I decide if I like the way he looks or not.’

“Eh? Ama it’s coz you are older now?”

‘I think so.’ (and I am scrolling down my ‘guys folder’ to point out a specific feature I like in a guy. Nothing comes up)

“Me,I like well groomed nails, she smiles. It’s the first thing I notice in guys.”

I laugh and she continues.

“Then I like guys who make their presence felt.  Not rude guys, guys who will not let people poke fun at me when we are walking in the street. You know they are some guys you can be walking together and you meet a group of roughies and you are the one telling them- keep off? The chances of being beaten up, both of you is very high.”

‘I know what you mean.’

‘Tell me about your recent crush, how does he look like?’’

(oh no, I am not ready to confess.  This topic is getting out of hand)

‘What he looks like or what I like about him?’ I buy time.

“How does he look like?”

‘He is a kawaida guy. Not tall.’

“You mean he’s short?”

‘Not very short.’

“Like Mark’s height?”

‘Mark is tall.’

“Gosh Cecilia, that means he’s shorter than you are.”

‘Yes.’

“And you don’t mind that?”

‘Haha, It never occurred to me. He also doesn’t have much hair.’

 “You mean he’s bald!?”

‘Not bald, just he doesn’t have much hair on him.’

“Kwani he’s like how old? Over 50?”

(this is the nearest I will come to confessing.)

‘If I tell you he is younger than me will you think I like younger men?’

“He is not even twenty seven and is balding? That is, sooo, weird.”

‘I think it’s because I have too much hair on me and when I don’t shave my legs I look like a very hairy goat. I think I have enough hair for both of us.’

“I like hair on a man’s arms. But I hate when a guy doesn’t wear a vest and then a button opens and then it’s as if he was hiding an animal under his shirt.” she says meditatively and gives me a few examples. I call her weird.

‘He doesn’t wear socks.’ I hear myself say.

 “What? Why?”

(why did I have to say that! Now I have to explain) “I mean, like if  it's a casual do and he's got on his, Hush puppies or Clarks he just throws on a sweater and no socks.”

“So you mean to say, when you meet a guy for the first time, there is nothing that strikes you about them until you know them?”

‘Not always, but I need to talk to them first. He could be the darkest shade of night but if he has no content I won’t think much of him.’

“Wait, you like very dark guys?”

‘Yup.’

“Dark like K’Ogelo or South Sudan?”

‘K’ Ogelo.’

“You don’t like white guys then?”

‘Ok. It depends. Can he hold a conversation without reverting to the race issue? I’m black you are white, it’s a fact now can we move on to other interests?’

“How about light guys?”

“Light guys like Musila yes. Lighter. No.”

“Why?” She is clearly shocked.

‘Don’t say I said this but, light guys I have met, have the same attitude as light skinned chics who have always been told they are the most beautiful girl in the village.’

“I also prefer dark guys, if they are black”

 We laugh and take a sip of the bone soup they gave us for 10 O’clock tea, and get back to sorting the onions.

pictures borrowed. and here are two regular songs, about regular relationships.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKr9m7-MyLE
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65RGzDyTHFc